Note: I'm posting this report due to requests from friends to make a nats report.
Ok, here we go. So for awhile, Mike O was saying that I should go to the strip club with him and how I would enjoy it, etc. I was skeptical, but I eventually agreed to go. This was several weeks ago. On Wednesday, Jeremy (he's the game academy commentator) says that he wants to go on Thursday. Apparently he does this a lot and knows all of the best places. My flight for nats leaves at 10 AM Friday morning, but I decide that I don't care. We talk about our plans a lot, and we finally lay down some ground rules for tonight.
1. Do not talk about yugioh
2. Do NOT talk about yugioh
34. The strippers will do it, no exceptions.
Thursday I spend most of the time at the Game Academy chilling before we all leave. We go to Mike's apartment for a couple of hours before we head out. They made me shave, and Weekly gave me some better clothes to wear. Here's a short description of everyone who went to the strip club with us.
Allen C. "Pennington is awesome at life, and I would love to suck his penis" Pennington: Me. Not a homosexual despite being called Pennington is awesome at life, and I would love to suck his penis. Obsessed with ygo and has an inflated ego. Although he can come off as a douche at times, he is actually a very likeable guy. He's a writer for thegameacademyonline.com and a current member of Team Game Academy. Along with Sam Jones and Jake Mattern, he's one of the most well-known yugioh players who regularly attends The Game Academy's tournaments.
Mike O: One of the owners of The Game Academy. Anyone who's been there should know who he is. His views on women as being objects make the strip club naturally enjoyable for him. Once a ygo player himself, he manages most of the ygo aspects of the store. His favorite ygo deck is Blackwings. He likes food, rap music, and long walks on the beach.
"Faddy" Josh: Everyone likes fat people who have no shame in admitting that they are fat. Another owner of The Game Academy, he's more of a "behind the scenes" kinda guy. He's strictly an MTG player; he will most likely won't ever touch ygo with a 10-foot pole. He manages The Game Academy's eBay account, and makes sure that all of the MTG cards are perfectly sorted. He will come out of his cave to occasionally participate in the store's FNMs, placing in top8 every week.
Josh Weekly: 2/3 of the Game Academy owners have the first name "Josh" so naturally we can't call any Game Academy employees by their first name (instead just call him "Weekly"). He was hired several months ago for his good decision-making skills and his friendly personality. Interesting enough, some of the duelists who have befriended him joke that he's a creep and a stoner, but he's actually a really nice guy. Strip clubs aren't his thing, but he's always one to do whatever the group wants.
Adam Arboghast: Tries hard to be a competitive ygo player, but has to still not managed to do well at non-local events. He hangs around the best ygo players at The Game Academy, and is generally a nice guy. He sometimes gets emo when he loses, especially after realizing that he made game-deciding misplay. His favorite decks are Blackwings and anti-meta, and he has a tendency to play decks that would be classified as "tier 2".
Ashley Sisson: Girlfriend of Adam. She understands the basic rules of ygo, so she is able to understand what's going on while watching Adam's matches, and occasionally plays as well. Any days that Adam is at The Game Academy, she's probably there herself. She's attractive enough for normal ygo players to respect Adam's tastes, but not too attractive so that creepy ygo players will be all over her either.
Cat Nixon: Without a doubt, one of the most attractive girls to play ygo. Her youtube channel "caniserre" is extremely popular. She's known for playing plants and dislikes most top tier decks. Creepy ygo players hit on her both irl and on her youtube channel. She learned karate several years ago to protect herself from ygo rapists, and now has a blackbelt.
Anyways, imagine this group of a people going to a strip club together. It's almost guaranteed that something funny/interesting will happen. It's me, Adam, Ashley, and Mike in Adam's car. We spend the whole ride fighting over what music we're going to on the way there. The best part is when Adam plays death metal and Mike rages hard-core. I almost thought he was going to jump out of the car. The black people in the car driving next to us gave us a really weird look when Adam turned on the music (our windows were rolled down). I think finally we agreed to listen to Gorillaz or something.
We get to the strip club which is in Ebor. It was $10 to get in which seemed fair, but we had to buy a drink, which were all $4+. Most expensive bottle of water ever. This was all a new experience for me, so it felt a bit awkward at first. We mainly chill and watch the strippers do their thing. I paid a random stripper $2 to shove her tits in my face for half a minute, which was probably worth it. All of the strippers were very attractive, and the music played there was a good mix of rap, rock, and techno.
So there I am drinking my bottle of water and talking to my friends. I was a little bored, so I was thinking about what cards I going to put in my sidedeck for ygo nats. One of the least attractive strippers in the club (probably a 6, maybe 7) sits my lap and starts talking dirty to me, saying how she's been watching me for awhile, thinks I'm hot, she's horny, etc. She asks if I want to fuck, so I'm like whatever, why not? What's the worst that could happen? (No, this story doesn't end with me getting AIDs.) Once we get into the room she immediately starts talking money. She asks me how much I have (which is the full amount), but I obviously lie and say not much. She takes my wallet out of my pocket and starts counting. She's like um, ok, you can have me for an hour for all of the money in your wallet.
Well fuck that. I'd rather spend a grand on yugioh. She says she'll do $250 for a half an hour and I still say no. Like holy shit, why are whores so expensive? People complain about Emmersblades being $100? Shut the fuck up. Women are way more expensive, by far. Especially since yugioh cards at least have some resale value. She starts offering other various prices, and none of them are reasonable, especially since there are other women in the club who are way better looking than her who would probably do the same shit for the same price. I pretty much tell her to go fuck herself, take my money, and walk back to the main room where my friends are.
She follows me and starts whining, saying how she wants my cock and whatnot. I mean normally I wouldn't say anything, but FUCK! If you really want my cock so badly, then why are you charging me so much? All of my friends reassure me that I made the right decision, but they also think it was really funny. I try to relax for awhile, because at this point I am disgusted. I can't believe there are people who pay thousands of dollars to fuck ugly bitches.
Cat wants a lapdance, and they have a special on couples lapdances. She decides that she wants Faddy J to join her for lulz. Most attractive female in our group + least attractive male in our group for a couple. They come back 3 songs later and it sounds like they both had fun.
Adam and Ashley mysteriously disappear for awhile. We conclude that they went to get a private lapdance so we're not really worried. 10 minute pass, then 20, then 30, and we start to get worried. We think that Adam accidentally killed one of the strippers and ran off or something. Eventually he comes back, and we find out that some nigger tried to rob them (no surprises there, right?). Anyways, she takes them back there without telling them how much it costs, they lose track of time, and I'm sure you can figure out the rest. They end up owing this bitch $400, which they have no way to pay. After some negiotiating, it gets cut to $200. They give her $60, pull $40 more out of their account, and say that's all that they have.
Obviously the stripper is pretty angry. She keeps saying how she wants her money, and Jeremy tries to help Adam out explain that he doesn't have any. It's funny watching them argue. The stripper is actually retarded. They talked in circles for what felt like forever. Finally we tell them to fuck off and we leave without paying the bitch. As leave we see a really nerdy looking guy walk into the club with basketball shorts on, which we think is hilarious.
Adam is still really upset about the whole thing and I try to reassure him. I honestly did feel sorry for him. These strippers are vicious people. Trying to steal our money that should be being spent on ygo cards. I thought we should go get food somewhere but apparently I was the only one that was hungry. We decide to go to a different club and hopefully things will go better this time.
At the other place it's $20 for me to get in, which is retarded. It's 1 AM and I probably need some sleep anyways. We decide not to go to this club. Everyone decides to go in search of another club, but me, Adam, and Ashley decided to pass. Adam drives me back to Mike's apartment where my car is. I wish them luck and stay up for a few hours talking to my friends about nats. I told Bunts I was running Frog FTK and he told me how the deck has plays for days.
At about 5 AM I decide that i need some sleep and head home. I still hadn't eaten so I stop at Burger King and order a whooper. Apparently once it's past 5 AM you can only order breakfast foods. It was like 5:08.
Me: "So I can't have it my way?"
Them: "Not if it's against our policy."
Me: "Then what's the point of your slogan?"
Then I drove off.
I went to sleep shortly after I got home and my mom drove me to the airport in the morning. I was a 1-stop flight in Chicago, and on both planes I told the people sitting next to me about yugioh. It seemed like they didn't get it. I think Trading Card Games are a fairly simple thing to understand. Apparently that isn't the case.
I got to my hotel took and took a nap for a few hours. Felt good. I went to the lobby and did some trading, buying, and testing. Everyone wanted to play for cash, but no one would let me use Frog FTK. I used Blackwings and pushed their shit in. I almost considered switching to Blackwings just because of how well I did playing people for money. I won some and lost some, but I ended up going +$20 overall. I meant a few people from DGz, and saw a couple of Pittao's Team Xtreme friends as well.
I went to bed at a reasonable time and got about 7 hours of sleep. The hotel was very close to convention center so I found it pretty easily. Once I got there I said hi to some more friends. Rumor had it that everyone was siding Hanewata's, but I decided that I didn't give a fuck. I never had a Hanewata used against me the entire day. Sam Jones decided to switch to X-Sabers at the last second, which in hindsight was definitely a bad decision. Jake is running Glads obv and is finally siding Dimensional Fissure, but can't find foil ones. He eventually buys them at $15 each. C.J. thinks he's cool because he slept with Jake Mattern. Jake gets $800 deck stolen which is pretty depressing.
I meet some more DGz people and some other people that I know. Everyone was pretty nice overall. I was actually susprised at how many people played Frog FTK. I'm guessing it was the 4th most popular deck. My prediction that X-Sabers would be the most popular deck was right on target.
My main and side were fairly standard. That canadian guy knew what he was doing. The extra was also standard except for a Dark End. Showing people that threw them of all day. I was siding Caius and Diva, so theoretically I could bring it out, but it never happened. I started off 1-2 because of shitty hands, and I almost dropped. Then I studied some psychology between rounds 3 and 4 and proceeded to win the rest of my rounds that day, making day 2. I felt a bit more confident after that. Sam Jones went x-3 due to losing out to Frog FTK 3 times. I was his 3rd loss. I went kinda sorry for him.
I decided to get some sleep that night. Round 10 I played against Herald, my worst matchup. Well fuck! I win the die roll game 1 but I have a turn 2 kill hand instead of a turn 1 kill. He plays a Herald first turn and I lose. Game 2 I open FTK and he doesn't have Herald of Orange. Game 3 I open FTK but he Mind Crushes my Substitoad. Both games I try to set up a Dupe Frog as a plan B but it never worked out. I win the last round easy and got 85th or something. I'm fairly convinced that if I didn't play the random Herald deck I probably would've made top64. Oh well, it happens.
I played in a 2011 regional qualifier, which is a gay single elim tournament. I crush 2 randoms and end up losing in the top4 to GBs because he has a Chariot loop every game and I can never open FTK. At this point I decided it was time to head home. Overall I had a lot of fun with the deck. The most fun games are always the ones where I don't use Mass Driver to win.
I met so many DGzers that I don't want to list them because I know I'll forget several people and I don't want them to be mad at me =P I was called Pennington is awesome at life, and I would love to suck his penis quite a bit that day, but I didn't really care. You guys are just that awesome.