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Bradolf Hitler

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Everything posted by Bradolf Hitler

  1. Entrepreneur

    I'm just here to promote my new energy drink called Cum. I thought it might be pretty popular with the DG demographic.
  2. Entrepreneur

    nm hbu
  3. Entrepreneur

  4. Top 10 Movies

    [quote name='pkmn prof. grant' timestamp='1341866444' post='3227689']i have said this like 600 times but moon was not that good like the concept is cute and it would be good if it got the budget it deserved, but currently it is not close to top 10 i don't think my list is any different from the last time i posted it[/quote][quote name='Ammit' timestamp='1341867210' post='3227698'][quote name='pkmn prof. grant' timestamp='1341866444' post='3227689'] i have said this like 600 times but moon was not that good like the concept is cute and it would be good if it got the budget it deserved, but currently it is not close to top 10 i don't think my list is any different from the last time i posted it [/quote] I certainly don't think it was perfect, but it was extremely well written, and Sam Rockwell gives one of the best performances I've seen ever. It's probably the best sci-fi movie to come out in idk how long.[/quote] I have a soft spot for space films, which is probably the reason I enjoyed Prometheus more than most. In addition to a spectacular performance by Sam Rockwell and voicing by my favorite villain Kevin Spacey, Moon was the debut feature of David Bowie's son, and knowing that made me appreciate it all the more.
  5. Entrepreneur

    Sure thing. AIM/FB me about it. Goodbye, anonymous user and film critic Bradolf Hitler.
  6. Drive

    Has this devolved into a troll thread? Oh, how far the mighty have driven.
  7. Entrepreneur

    Now it's a party.
  8. Drive

    It's not necessarily a criticism, but it would explain why so many people on the internet like it.
  9. Entrepreneur

    Hello, Bryan. :}
  10. Top 10 Movies

    There Will Be Blood No Country for Old Men Goodfellas Le Samourai Lawrence of Arabia The Prestige District 9 Dr. Strangelove The Producers (1968) Moon No order.
  11. What was the last film you watched?

    God Bless America. Fun movie to watch with friends who enjoy current television programming.
  12. The Avengers

    Obviously, but I enjoy humoring his anti-reviews.
  13. Drive

    I was never on the edge of my seat. I was frustrated by the lack of events and Ryan's performance (or lack thereof). Fuck, I do not even remember one line of dialogue that was not in a song. I do not think it is the worst movie ever--far from it. I just do not understand the critical acclaim and praise it receives on Television & Film.
  14. Entrepreneur

    I don't remember. I think Brady banned me for beating him in Yugioh or something silly.
  15. Prometheus

    First, Abrams had nothing to do with this. Prometheus was written by Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof. Second, the elements left open to interpretation were painfully obvious. I'm disappointingly surprised you didn't pick up on them, Grant. Third, I'm willing to overlook the unnecessary inclusion of Guy Pearce because he was only briefly in the picture, not to mention that goddamn Caesarean.
  16. Entrepreneur

    This account was first Burai X. I think I was Vlad the Vaginal Impaler at one point. My original account/username and usual internet moniker is "Jedah."
  17. Entrepreneur

    I'm thinking about changing my name and posting seriously this time. Smash'd seems to be lacking worthy adversaries anyway.
  18. Breaking Bad

    HRRRNGH. My body is ready.
  19. Prometheus

    Prometheus is one of the most visually extraordinary moving pictures I have ever seen. Both casual audiences and sci-fi fans should enjoy the core narrative and impressive visuals (however, casual moviegoers will likely be confused by some of the time spent addressing Alien universe mythos, and conversely, hardcore fans may be at times equally mystified by some of the answers provided). Prometheus delivers a story that is nearly unmatched in a modern cinema experience. The acting was great, especially that of Noomi Rapace. This was her best performance since Män som hatar kvinnor. There were only two lines of dialogue that I thought were cliché. Even then, I never felt like leaving the theater or killing myself. Also, did I mention the visuals were breathtaking? Do not click unless you've seen the movie. [spoiler]In the opening scene, we are shown the creation of life on a planet. Once the black goo is ingested by The Engineer, it merges with and breaks apart its host at the molecular level and the goo-infused DNA is spread via the water and creates life. This single Engineer is dropped off by his people's ship and left to a mission that results in his own demise. Whether he was aware of his sacrifice is left up to some speculation, but it reminded me of the "Thy will be done" moment on the eve of Jesus' death. Before Shaw and crew enter the chamber with the vases, they remove their helmets, directly exposing themselves to the atmosphere. I believe the goo in the chamber is a powerful creation catalyst in the first instance but only become a destructive force later because it can manifest in both positive and negative aspects and develop along that path. The goo picks up on the human presence and, since the Engineers were very mad at the humans, takes on a negative form after which it transforms simple worms into dangerous mutant cobras. It is also metaphorically like sin for the Christian undertones and parallels. The goo is the primordial soup that created Adam. While David is an android and is supposed to be void of any human emotion or motivations of his own, you might have found yourself questioning some of his actions, such as why he experimented by putting the goo in Holloway's beverage. His agenda was to heal Weyland, and he needed to know the properties of the goo and its effect on human subjects. After David asks Holloway what he is willing to do for the mission, Holloway replies, "Anything and everything." He stealthily acquired Holloway's consent in a way. At the end of the film, we are shown an imperfect Xenomorph. It has been well established that the Xenomorph we have grown accustomed to seeing only forms as a result of intellectually superior lifeforms such as the Engineers. The Xenomorph's evolution will be explained in the next installation. I, for one, am excited to see where it goes from here. I was more than satisfied by the end of the film.[/spoiler] After the film, we overheard some dumb people who were confused about it being related to Alien and obsessing over plot details. The problem with this is that you have to be capable of critical thinking in order to discern the parts left open to a little interpretation. Is it a direct prequel to Alien? No. Is that a problem? Resounding no. The connection between Alien and Prometheus is far less compelling than the storyline unfolding here. The fact is that Prometheus found the right balance between nods to Alien while also working as an intelligent and captivating standalone sci-fi drama. In a time when sci-fi/action films procure astronomical box office bucks (e.g. shit like Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon), it is easy for studios to rely on a recognizable brand over core filmmaking components such as competent storyboard building and intelligent scene composition in favor of nonstop explosions (e.g. Battleshit). Prometheus serves as a breath of fresh air and a welcome reassurance that inspired directing can make a real difference on the silver screen. Prometheus is an atonement for the last few years of cinema.
  20. The Avengers

    I guess I can post this without a spoiler warning because I am quite sure everyone who cares enough ahas seen it by now. Avengers review: I thought it was pretty good. I set my expectations too low this time. The plot is coherent and paced absorbingly well. The cinematics are engaging, although the climactic scene is not a farcry from what we have seen thrice in Transformers. Some of the jokes come off as too campy, but there are a few that actually made me snicker. I personally do not like Scarlett Johansson (henceforth referred to as "Scarjo") or Mark Ruffalo and think Edward Norton should have reprised his role, but otherwise the acting is good. Scarjo's Russian is a little unbelievable for those who speak it fluently, but then again so was Hawkeye's form for those who practice archery if I am going to nitpick. Tom Hiddleston shines again as Loki, as did Sam Jackson. I was also happy to see Cobie Smulders in a mainstream movie. If you are a fan of the comics or other superhero movies, I definitely recommend The Avengers. If you are a dullard who guffaws at obvious jokes and thinks explosions are kickass, you will also enjoy it. Speaking of which, our experience was a letdown because of the idiot to David's immediate left who kept howling at every joke and clapping whenever anything happened. Murder crossed my mind a dozen times. Anyway, when you see this movie because you are going to because you value my awesome opinion highly, stay after the credits for a very worthwhile extra scene. That is all. Bravo, Joss Whedon. You are not completely useless after all. I have a few problems with the latter half of the movie. When Bruce Banner first Hulks out, he nearly divorces Black Widow from her limbs. The next time he transforms, he attacks an enemy, which is understandable, yet when it is dead, he merely creates a tight perimeter with the other Avengers. The whole time I was waiting for Hulk to rip Hawkeye's head off. A few scenes later, he is fighting alongside Thor and after beating the enemies knocks Thor off camera. That is the kind of behavior I expected. Some could argue that he was taking priority on the invading Chitauri fleet, but my argument is that Hulk at this point is a thoughtless killing apparatus of murder. My most and least favorite quotes of the film both come from Captain America. The least favorite is "There is only one God, ma'am, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't dress like that." in reference to Loki and Thor. I could almost hear the cheers coming from the religious nutjobs and hicks. I think a few people did clap. My most favorite line is when Cap lets everyone know he understood the flying monkeys reference. Tony Stark's lines about Galaga, Phil Coulson's first name being 'Agent,' and the Glowstick of Destiny also kind of made me laugh. My favorite serious scenes involve Loki, especially when he tricks Thor into imprisonment, kills Agent Coulson, and even when Hulk uses him to play Ground Pound. My least favorite serious scene is when the Avengers begin verbally roasting one another. The best scene in the movie for me was when Loki (yes, maybe I will marry Loki; shut up) makes the Germans kneel before him. It is enlightening to see my future on the silver screen like that, yet mine will be in a world where Captain America is not present to stop me from making an example of a foolish geriatric. Speaking of death, Tony Stark should have died many times in the movie--not to satisfy me, but to satisfy physics. In fact, the final time, there was no reason for Iron Man to go through the portal at all once he had set the nuclear missile on its altered trajectory. Anyway, I am heavily looking forward to the inevitable sequel because of you-know-who. I won't say his name because I do not want anyone to accidentally see it. I will just say that I was giddy. Even with all the flaws and the obnoxious redneck movie-goer, I still had great fun with this. ------------------------------------------------------------ ‎"This whopping sales campaign manipulates immature, undeveloped adolescent taste into the mistaken notion of cultural fulfillment. The Avengers is neither good nor important, yet the more it consummates Marvel Comics’ current strategy to secure the adolescent comic book/graphic novel/video game market, the more it illustrates Hollywood’s shameless insufficiencies." -Armond White on The Avengers My response: Your first statement (the expectation that marketing guarantees success) is a fallacy, thus rendering the rest of his review invalid. Green Lantern had a much bigger marketing push behind it and did its best impersonation of the Hindenberg at the box office. Considering how you do not at all review the content of the movie, I am going to assume you have not seen The Avengers. It must be a miserable existence being a critic who has to make up controversial opinions for the oxygen of publicity. Seriously, Armond hated Toy Story 3 yet considers filth like the Transformers franchise good cinema. How one can say a reasonably well-written, well-paced and entertaining (if mentally undemanding) Summer blockbuster like The Avengers is bad when shit like Battleship is clogging up theatres is beyond me. You might actually die if you had to sit through that. This meta-movie smartness has hoodwinked the blogger generation (not the fanboy types, but those with actual scholarly ambitions). A new, depressive hierarchy is the result.
  21. Legend of Korra

    This is my review after seeing the pilot(s) shown on Nickelodeon.com a month before its release. The Legend of Korra is a fairly decent follow-up to the renowned Avatar: The Last Airbender. From the first episode, we learn Korra's plight and what motivates her. She is a raucous young Avatar, foil to Aang, who (ironically enough) is next to useless with airbending. Even with the other elements, she is almost a liability because of her haphazard nature. Nevertheless, the action scenes are action-packed, and the serious scenes set up the plot well enough. We even see nostalgic references to characters of old. I am usually not one for light-hearted comedy in a series, but it was executed efficiently here as it was in The Last Airbender. It is definitely going to be different than The Last Airbender, to which it does not have an immediate narrative hook because the antagonist is more elusory than the volatile nation of firebending fascists, but the indicated conflict between benders and the vast majority of non-benders adds a level of moral complexity. Overall, I am actually looking forward to watching the rest of this series. Then I watched the rest and was a bit disappointed at the ending, but it was pretty fun. The airbending kids were my favorite part.
  22. Drive

    This is old, but I wanted to share my review after seeing it since you guys love it so much. Drive is a movie about a stunt driver who is a getaway driver by night and in my opinion a sufferer of Asperger's syndrome. The nameless driver's expression is consistently vacant, to such degree that I did not for a second think of him as the silent brooding type but as if he's in a world of his own construction not found within this plane of existence. The screenplay would have you believe that its main character is existential when it seems to me he’s just not very intelligent. In an early, expository scene, "The Driver" explains to a customer on the phone how he works as a getaway driver and what he requires. Thereafter, for reasons unexplained, he seems incapable of uttering a complete sentence. He is also presented as innocent, after we see him ferrying a pair of burglars from the scene of their crime. Later, he displays a daunting, and also unexplained, skillset with a medley of deadly weapons. It is bereft of logic. As for plot, if you have seen the trailer, you have seen every scene in which he drives his Mustang. Extremely painful graphic violence is only okay if it’s done so operatically that it matches the film’s stylized approach. This is not the case. Interestingly enough, minus the gratuitously violent scenes, almost nothing happens. I kept waiting impatiently for a climax that never came. Granted, I did appreciate that it did not flood the atmosphere with a plethora of chase scenes and cars doing front flips and exploding, but how does one make a scene where drowning a man in the ocean is boring? How does one make a scene in which a man is killed with a claw-hammer in the back of a strip club boring? I do not know, but somehow Refn managed to do just that. Even the reveal disappointed me. I did not like how the same antagonists were connected by chance to more than one character in the film. It felt too small, too local, and too coincidental. When the movie finally ended, after what felt like 9 or 10 hours, I just sat there stunned, staring at the credits, listening to Real Human Bean, incredulous that I had actually managed to sit through that much tedium. I understand that it is originally an independent film, so it is not going to have the typical Hollywood feel and story progression, but where others see artistry, I see only the blank stares of Ryan Gosling. Gosling's acting in this feature is dubious at best. He seems as if he is simply there. The costarring cast is strong, including Ron Perlman, Bryan Cranston, Christina Hendricks, and Albert Brooks as a well-spoken goon. For me, Drive is all peacock feathers, punctuated by unpleasant bursts of violence. If that is what passes for cutting-edge filmmaking (or storytelling), we are in trouble. Some have been comparing it to Bullitt, and that is a fair comparison...if you put Steve McQueen on Quaaludes and erase half the dialogue. Drive seems to me like a chick flick without feeling. I actually might have post-traumatic stress from having had to sit through it--and not because of the violence, for I have seen far worse. Now the only thing that can redeem this monumental bore is rifftrax.
  23. Top 10 TV Shows

    [quote name='Miley Syrus +' timestamp='1325790710' post='3068150']I'm such a faggot for the first two but, Glee Greys anatomy Dexter How I met your mother The office [b]Full house[/b] Ka-blam Fresh prince All that -season 1 Kenan and Kel There are other awesome shows but you said 10 I guess but boy meets world, unsolved mysteries, and fact or fiction are pretty good too. I also enjoy jeopardy[/quote]I am not sure if I can take you seriously anymore. Live-Action Comedy: 1. The IT Crowd 2. Black Books 3. Welcome Back, Kotter 4. Spaced 5. The Colbert Report 6. Chappelle's Show 7. Seinfeld 8. The Daily Show 9. The Winner (shortlived Seth MacFarlane sitcom) 10. Veep Cartoon Comedy: 1. China, IL 2. The Boondocks 3. Futurama 4. Animaniacs 5. South Park 6. The Venture Brothers 7. Daria 8. Code Monkeys 9. Bob's Burgers 10. American Dad Drama: 1. Breaking Bad 2. The Shield 3. Fucking Game of Thrones 4. Justified 5. The Wire 6. Mad Men 7. The Sopranos 8. Fringe 9. The Mentalist 10. Dexter
  24. stop liking what I don't like

    Big Bang Theory: Started off slightly amusing then devolved into unfunny pop culture, geek, and sexual 'humor.' My friends love to watch this show and look at me whenever Sheldon does literally anything. It is insulting that I would be compared to him, though there are a few undeniable similarities (overly religious mother, [actual] high intelligence and degrees, inability to operate motor vehicles, loquacious manner of speaking, general cynicism and misanthropy, et cetera). I really wish the writers would unfollow me on Twitter. I have neither the time nor the patience to make sure they are not stealing my material and turning it to shit. The Walking Dead: I got to about episode seven and stopped watching. I cannot see why everyone thinks it is a good show. I laugh whenever someone compares it to Breaking Bad. Community: I watched the pilot and was not impressed. I watched the second episode and realized it is for morons. Victorious: You would be surprised. Ariana Grande is attractive, but she is not a reason to watch this.
  25. Dexter Season 07

    Seasons (best to worst): 1. Season 4 2. [url=http://www.surprisemotherfucker.com/]Season 2[/url] 3. Season 1 4. Season 3 9001. Season 6. 9002. Season 5. This is one of the very few shows where I have no fucking clue what is going to happen next season.