I'm not sure if I can forgive what you did to me. Even though it's been eight or so months the night you came home like nothing was wrong, got into bed with me, and dumped me still hurts like it was yesterday and it feels like our entire relationship meant nothing. I was in love with you. I wanted to marry you. I thought you were my forever person. You can't just date someone for a year and a half, make them the happiest that they have ever been, and then tell them one normal night that you're unhappy and that you've been keeping it to yourself and dump them out of nowhere. I'm not just sad that our relationship ended but I feel wronged somehow. I don't understand what happened and I guess I never will. I thought everything I did was exactly what you wanted. We got a house and re-modeled it because that's what you wanted, because you said living with your parents was fueling your anxiety. We bought a dog because you wanted one for the house and now you've left me and him alone in a house that I can't fully erase you from. I did everything that I could to make you the happiest person.
You said we had plateaued and idk how that's possible when we had just bought a house and moved in and lived in it for less than six months. You told me you the night you ended it that were unhappy and that you wanted to be alone, which was the first time you had ever implied anything of the sort, but it didn't take you very long to find someone else to date. You said that you needed to work on yourself and that I should probably do the same. I just don't understand you anymore. You told me this was all about you and that I did nothing wrong and that I was a great boyfriend but how can that mean anything if it ended the way you ended it? That implies that even if I put everything I had into a relationship that it won't be enough so why should I try again? I feel permanently damaged. I don't understand how I'm not supposed to carry all of this into my next relationship if I ever have one again. I know that I'm going to be anxious and over-cautious about the next person that I date that they aren't doing the same thing. And you are the one person I want to talk to about all of this because despite hurting me, I still feel fondly about you. You were my best friend and my favorite human.