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Socially awkward stories

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Dgz Punk    929
About 5 years ago, I was out with some friends and we just got done playing DDR. I was a bit exhausted and didn't want to be bothered so I set my cell phone to vibrate. We get to a McDonalds and after placing my order, I go and sit down with the rest of them. I go to put my head down for a bit and I hear this buzzing sound under me, right by my phone so I pick it up...

"Hello......hello?"

I then look at it and don't see a missed call. My friend, Joe is like "What happened?" I told him about the buzzing sound I heard and how there's no call on my phone. He then says, "Oh, my bad. I just farted."

LOL

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»Nut    671
this one time i showed my friend one of nut's posts.

winnar

my shits not THAT obscure and awkard is it?

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Semaj.    2263

When I was in third grade, my best friend Zach was about to move to some random state, so he was telling all this stuff about this girl that he really liked, like: "Make sure she is protected, and don't let anyone mess with her" and stuff like that.

A few days later and school we were all hanging out in the sand digging holes, and there was like 10 of us, and one of those 10 was that girl. So I started telling her/the group all this stuff that Zach was telling me, kinda laughing about it and stuff.

But for some reason I didn't realize that Zach was sitting right next to me the entire time =/

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ecko    25
When I was in third grade, my best friend Zach was about to move to some random state, so he was telling all this stuff about this girl that he really liked, like: "Make sure she is protected, and don't let anyone mess with her" and stuff like that.

A few days later and school we were all hanging out in the sand digging holes, and there was like 10 of us, and one of those 10 was that girl. So I started telling her/the group all this stuff that Zach was telling me, kinda laughing about it and stuff.

But for some reason I didn't realize that Zach was sitting right next to me the entire time =/

Did you protect her?

Today while I was doing drive-thru, all they ordered was a Fruitista Freeze and due to habit I asked if they wanted any sauces. They looked at me funny.

If I think of any actual embarassing ones I'll post.

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Semaj.    2263
When I was in third grade, my best friend Zach was about to move to some random state, so he was telling all this stuff about this girl that he really liked, like: "Make sure she is protected, and don't let anyone mess with her" and stuff like that.

A few days later and school we were all hanging out in the sand digging holes, and there was like 10 of us, and one of those 10 was that girl. So I started telling her/the group all this stuff that Zach was telling me, kinda laughing about it and stuff.

But for some reason I didn't realize that Zach was sitting right next to me the entire time =/

Did you protect her?

Today while I was doing drive-thru, all they ordered was a Fruitista Freeze and due to habit I asked if they wanted any sauces. They looked at me funny.

If I think of any actual embarassing ones I'll post.

I was trying to get with her.

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ecko    25
When I was in third grade, my best friend Zach was about to move to some random state, so he was telling all this stuff about this girl that he really liked, like: "Make sure she is protected, and don't let anyone mess with her" and stuff like that.

A few days later and school we were all hanging out in the sand digging holes, and there was like 10 of us, and one of those 10 was that girl. So I started telling her/the group all this stuff that Zach was telling me, kinda laughing about it and stuff.

But for some reason I didn't realize that Zach was sitting right next to me the entire time =/

Did you protect her?

Today while I was doing drive-thru, all they ordered was a Fruitista Freeze and due to habit I asked if they wanted any sauces. They looked at me funny.

If I think of any actual embarassing ones I'll post.

I was trying to get with her.

Let me rephrase the question:

Did you use protection with her?

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Semaj.    2263
When I was in third grade, my best friend Zach was about to move to some random state, so he was telling all this stuff about this girl that he really liked, like: "Make sure she is protected, and don't let anyone mess with her" and stuff like that.

A few days later and school we were all hanging out in the sand digging holes, and there was like 10 of us, and one of those 10 was that girl. So I started telling her/the group all this stuff that Zach was telling me, kinda laughing about it and stuff.

But for some reason I didn't realize that Zach was sitting right next to me the entire time =/

Did you protect her?

Today while I was doing drive-thru, all they ordered was a Fruitista Freeze and due to habit I asked if they wanted any sauces. They looked at me funny.

If I think of any actual embarassing ones I'll post.

I was trying to get with her.

Let me rephrase the question:

Did you use protection with her?

She moved away right after 5th grade, fml.

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Model    866
i get a ring at the door around noonish, and im still sleepingish, so i get up in my boxers to answer it still kind of dazy, and its my land lord (a chick). she asks me if i want to put some clothes on, and i was like nah whats up... she continues to talk then insists i put something on. I shrug and go to my room to put some pants on, and then i realize my dong was hanging out the little lip of the boxers

lol win.

that dong hanging out shit has happened to me like 5 times though around my family. shits not good, especially in the morning.

i am going to add one i just remembered:

i swore i'd never post about this again out of respect for my mom but its too awkward to leave out so here it goes:

my mom came in one afternoon while i was napping in bed and she was telling me something sad or some shit and she went to go rub what she though was my hand under my blanket but it was actually my groin-area. she pretty much rubbed my cock through the blanket for like 2 seconds before i let her know. she didn't even talk to me the rest of the day.

I'm fucking jealous. I loved your mom.

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Manifestor    27

a few moths ago i was skateboarding w/ some friends and a girl i realy like and her best friend walked towards us and i wanted to look good and jump over a gap and kickflip it and fell, broke my hand and riped my pants. they started to laugh and told everyone @ school about it. was pretty bad dumb i guess. ^^''

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ggggg    3613

this one time i was fucking this guy in the ass right, and he turns around and i'm just like, "wtf r u gay?"

  • Upvote 1

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»Nut    671
this one time i was fucking this guy in the ass right, and he turns around and i'm just like, "wtf r u gay?"

oh god vintage

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Drizzt`    0
see...that's the other thing, some people here have actually met my mom before (like you cody) so that sort of enhances the story.

she's such a sweetheart. i felt so bad.

Yea, thats part of the reason why I found it so funny, because i have met her

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blueD    147

ah toosh!

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Drizzt`    0

I'm not sure I'll ever forget Ricky's mom telling him to stop grabbing Dave's tits.

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»Nut    671
I'm not sure I'll ever forget Ricky's mom telling him to stop grabbing Dave's tits.

haahahaha god my mom is so funny

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Bazoo    5700
lol last year my mom walked in on me and my gf havin sex

i didnt come home for like 4 dayz i was so embarassed

i never really got this. what do parents think you do with your girl? hold hands? the only way it'd be awkward is if my mum said something about it (or asked to join in).

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Inari    1075

One night a few years back I was cruising around with 4 other ppl in my friend's car and eventually out comes the weed and one of my friends has never done drugs, never been high/drunk or anything before and was rly afraid of trying it and I knew this beforehand but I didn't think much of it when we got picked up that night. But anyway out comes a fat ziplock of some sick shit and we pass the bowl around for a while. And Billy (that's not his name but I'll refer to him as Billy) starts panicking and getting antsy cause the rest of us were all getting high lol. We tried to get him to take a hit but he refused and wanted to go home. Then one of the other guys gets this idea and he and the 2 guys sitting next to Billy would hold him down and block off his breathing for awhile and then let go of his nose and stick the bowl end like in his nostril when Billy gasped for air. So they did this as I sat in the front seat and watched and sure enough, Billy gasped for air and took a huge hit of some of the dankest bud money can buy. Dude was fucking baked out of his mind the rest of the night. Like he ruined the whole night for us he was so high. We tried going out to eat and he just pushed all the dishes off the table and we got kicked out. And on the way out the door he grabs some guy's full Jack n'Coke off the table that he just received and put it in the waitress' apron pocket thingy and was like "THERE'S YOUR TIP BITCH!!" We were all laughing while simultaneously GingTFO ASAP. So after that even though it was a long'ish drive we decided to drop Billy's ass off at his house cause shit was getting ridic. He fucking mooned a squad car while we were driving and saying shit like "OMG I'M SO HIGH" and shit really loud, thank god that cop wasn't looking in our direction. So we got to his house and he stumbled up to his door (christ I've never seen someone so high for so long =/) and we sped off before his hyper Christian parents opened the door. Then we smoked it up again and got Taco Bell before ending the night with some epic Mario Party back at my guy's house. So yeah after that night Billy "wasn't allowed to hang out with us" anymore (lol w/e) and none of us saw him since. I talked to his sister a couple weeks ago though and supposedly he went through rehab last year? IRONIC TWIST FTW

I've got more stories but they prolly pale in comparison to any of Nut's. Also Juggalo that's some awkward shit right there. Your friend having sex like right next to you and his arm is all up on your back and shit? HOW THE FUCK DID U MANAGE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP!? lul

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samzorz    6

i remember there was a thread in the spam kingdom a year or two ago about some guy describing a story where he picked up this girl smoked up and fucked her or some shit and she was a slut. anyone remember? or...

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