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Don't judge me but...

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+rei+    34681
Simple game, someone posts a statement of something they did
If you think its funny, neutral, or something you'd do, uprep it
if you're 'judging them' for it, negrep it.

Example
"Don't judge me but when I was in college I tricked a mentally disabled man into cleaning my room"
Negrep if you're judging for it, uprep if you laughed or would do it too.




Don't judge me but I once broke up with someone by email because I was too lazy to bike 15 minutes.
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Laser Cat    5611

Don't judge me, but once I closed my dormmates door and locked him out of the room while he was in the shower; this forced him to have to walk 1/2 a mile to get a key with no clothes and only a small towel.

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Laser Cat    5611

This one is a bit longer.

 

Don't judge me, but one time I was walking to class (this was after my bike was stolen) some wierd kid walked up to me and started talking to me about Jesus and god.  I kept walking and kept lying to him and telling him that I was late to class, but he wouldn't get the hint so I had to walk into a random classroom to get him to fuck off.  Right before I was going to open the door he grabbed my arm and demanded to know my name, so I told him the name of my jewish friend.  A week later, my jewish friend starts telling us about this wierd guy who keeps emailing him and calling him trying to talk about Jesus.  This lasted about two weeks.

 

To this day, I still haven't told him what actually happened. 

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»rap tap    20154

don't judge me but i almost had a heatstroke and diarrhea at the same time at dragoncon last year so i ran around trying to find a port-a-potty to no avail. i ran into a restaurant with a sign that said "now open!" and by "now open!" it meant 2x4s and unpainted walls everywhere. the lady inside was on her cell phone and when i asked where the bathroom was, she said their wasn't one and went back to ignoring me like a cunt unparalleled by any other cunt. i make it to a parking lot corner behind a tree and let my bowels do the work sweating bullets hoping nobody would see me but my body froze when the car next to me opened its trunk and the leaking shit paused mid flow to as the nerves in my body froze, cold as ice somehow in the unforgiving upper-nineties weather. baited breath turned into a regular pattern as the trunk closed and the person left, seeming not to notice, or worse yet, chose not to acknowledge, and the rest of the liquid fecal matter was released

 

but yeah don't judge me 

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+rei+    34681
Don't judge me but when choosing between continuing to make offensive jokes and hanging out with a cute girl I chose bigotry
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Wilson    12516

don't judge me but last week, post-sex I pissed in the girl's kitchen sink.

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Laser Cat    5611

Don't judge me, but once I changed my friend's wallpaper to a picture of his face photoshopped on a fat, showering old lady right before he had a class presentation to give. 

 

[spoiler]

He noticed it before he presented.  Also, in my defense, all of these have a bit of context I'm leaving out so I'm not that big of an asshole. 

[/spoiler]

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+rei+    34681
Don't judge me but when a guy almost got me kicked out of college I got his girlfriend to blow me and filmed it
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Wilson    12516

Don't judge me but when a guy almost got me kicked out of college I got his girlfriend to blow me and filmed it

 

full story please

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iDunnoBro    822
don't judge me but when kids do really stupid shit and get hurt, and I hear that slow buildup into a cry and then they just explode I really want to laugh and often do
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»CheyMcFly    4637
Dont judge me but I used to log into my best friend's runescape account and drop trade her money to my account any time she cheated in basketball or any sport vs me which was pretty often. She would constantly deny cheating and was very competitive. One time her mom even told her she was cheating and she was still denying it.
I stopped doing this when I was 13.
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+rei+    34681

Don't judge me but when a guy almost got me kicked out of college I got his girlfriend to blow me and filmed it

 
full story please

Last assignment of last semester, group work. His girl was already flirting with me. He plagiarises his entire section of code, and we both get called in for a disciplinary hearing - I point out I have a very distinct commenting style and my work tracks really well - also show the segments I did on my PC with timestamps and versioning numbers.
I end up having to take a supplimental exam, he gets banned from postsecondary for seven years, then messages me a day later asking me to loan him some money.

I texted the girl instead.
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Nidoqueen    146

Don't judge me but once I accidentally glued a pigeon to it's egg.

 

"Accidentally".

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»Digbick    7262

Don't judge me but i took advantage of my deafness to avoid traffic tickets 

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confuse rei    5608

Don't judge me but in elementary school(late 90s) i charged my classmates to help them with their pokemon games, which essentially was them giving me their game boy and their lunch money and me playing through their game

 

It eventually spread through the whole school and I had to hire 2 more people because I had too many clients

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confuse rei    5608

Dont judge me for it but during the above I had schemed with the guy sitting next to me in elementary school so that when said insistent person was with me playing with his pokemon game he would go up in the class, open his bag and steal his lunch (he was a fat kid so that equals to a bar of chocolate , a croissant and all the chips you can dream of). We did that for a straight week before he got a lock

 

 

Not even ashamed 

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confuse rei    5608

Dont judge me for it but I stole a satellite dish and used it as a bayblade arena

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confuse rei    5608

Dont judge me for it but an ex thinks i died in Iraq

 

 

I can keep going for hours

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Nidoqueen    146

Dont judge me for it but an ex thinks i died in Iraq

 

 

I can keep going for hours

 

Is that ex the one you dumped by email?

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+rei+    34681

Dont judge me for it but an ex thinks i died in Iraq
 
 
I can keep going for hours

 
Is that ex the one you dumped by email?

dude that shit crei
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Laser Cat    5611

 

Don't judge me but once I accidentally glued a pigeon to it's egg.

 

"Accidentally".

 

 

I swear it was 100% accidental.  Speaking of this incident, do not trust anything you hear in king of the hill.

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Laser Cat    5611

Don't judge me, but one time I poured half a bottle of bleach into someone's washing machine.  Some context - the asshole put all of my wet clothes on the floor and the best part was that there were other washing machines available. 

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Laser Cat    5611

Don't judge me, but one night me and some friends got locked in a library after it closed (we were doing homework in a basement room) so before we left we took a bunch of books and spelled "GET OUT" on floor near the entrance.   

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