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Paranoia/Trust Issue

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+Markus    2149

I was afraid a close friend of mine was about to fuck me over pretty hard. I didn't think that they were the kind of person to do those things but I was so afraid, it was just eating at me. I decided to confront them about my assumptions.

 

Turns out I was wrong. Now they feel bad that I would think that they would do something like that. I feel awful. God awful.

 

How do I fix it?

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»Noelle    5837

Apologize and tell him about your paranoia

If he doesn't forgive you, your loss

I'm not even inquire about the subject

 

This. There really just isn't any other play here, just gotta hope he forgives you, it's an unfortunate situation yes but the lesson to take for the future is obvious, and a valuable one.

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NB96    826

If you go to therapy for paranoia or trust issues he might be more likely to forgive you since you are proving with actions that you are doing something about it. I imagine that sort of thing isn't cheap but if this has happened before then perhaps it will do you some good regardless of how the situation with your friend works out.

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»Tygo    14110
Was it the situation itself that made you think he was going to do that or was it something about the person themselves? Maybe you can explain it that way so they don't think they it was them making you have these thoughts.

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+Markus    2149

i'm going to ask you another question

 

how did you confront him? were you aggressive? did you accuse him?

I'll go ahead try to paraphrase what I said

 

"I feel really bothered by something. I feel almost selfish about it but it's like I can't shake off the negative thoughts."

 

>What's bothering you?

 

"X, and I know I have no control over you as a person but I can't help but think that with [insert suspicions]."

 

>[explanation]

 

"Oh...I'm so sorry. I was mislead, I didn't know that part. I had just assumed. In all honesty I didn't think I had the right to even assume that. I feel really awful for even approaching you but it was literally gnawing at my being. I felt like it would be better if I confronted you about it. Please understand"

 

>...idk mark...

 

^^or something like that

 

 

Was it the situation itself that made you think he was going to do that or was it something about the person themselves? Maybe you can explain it that way so they don't think they it was them making you have these thoughts.

More like little hints of information I had come across. It wasn't them at all. In fact this person is really worth trusting. It seemed really coincidental (all the suspicions) and I felt so bothered that I had to ask. Not them at all.

 

If you go to therapy for paranoia or trust issues he might be more likely to forgive you since you are proving with actions that you are doing something about it. I imagine that sort of thing isn't cheap but if this has happened before then perhaps it will do you some good regardless of how the situation with your friend works out.

I've been wanting to do therapy for a long time. In all honesty, trust issues aren't common for me. Maybe it's just that in recent times I've been walked on and fucked over a lot by the people who I thought cared for me, but I guess that wasn't true. I do think I have problems. Probably have some people problems too. It's not that I'm bad with socializing or anything, but I do indeed tend to think people are garbage. Heavily judging people and so on. idek.

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+Markus    2149

I mean, I try to be as comforting as possible :[

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Hwan    357

This is late (i dont come on here much anymore) but tell him ur bad lol u thought he was going to fuck u over. He should understand if hes your real friend. 

It sucks not being able to trust anyone because u think theyre going to backstab u in the end. I know how that is but at the end of the day u know who u are. 

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+Markus    2149

thanks but i already handled things, it's all good  :cool:

  • Upvote 3

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