Jump to content
Silver

I don't normally post but I need advice

Recommended Posts

+rei+    34642

every post in this thread including the ones you made are "i need to relax about this"

 


so do it

 

  • Upvote 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soul    7942

Lol I'm doing this rn except with the receptionist at my job. She always wants to be with me when her bf at home is treating her like shit and stuff and I go with the flow even though she's very annoying/neurotic. I get what I want out of it at least. I think you are letting this random chick fuck with your head way too much. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008

So then what?

Like I know she wants me to be just her friend but like I kinda don't. I still searching as to why I am attracted her and trying to forget about it. So I don't know if I should not be her friend anymore or if I should just evolve the friendship but then do my thing on my own. 

But then if I do, I don't want to see her. The awkward thing is I wanted to take a physics class and she is also in it, but now I don't want to because of this. 

But then again, I just want to tell her " I don't think we can talk, I don't want to be your friend or your best friend, I want to be the one for you, then contact me later if you are ready for that kind of relationship. I am not going to wait for you. I have my own life. "

But talking about my feeling's is getting me nowhere. I think it's just better if I don't and just go with it to see what happens.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Soul    7942

Ur being kinda dumb. Either you can get her to have feelings for you, or you give up on it. And backing out of a class to avoid seeing her is straight up bitch shit and you are fucking up your own plans for some girl you won't even remember a year from now. Spilling your guts and telling her everything you feel about her will just make her feel you are rly immature (because let's face it, longing for someone who is taken is kind of immature, socially anyway). I'm not a beacon of maturity just yet, nor are you. So ultimately the call is yours. But by the sound of things, my advice would be to cut your losses now until you mature a bit and figure out how to court a girl you are interested in. 

  • Upvote 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008
1 hour ago, Soul said:

Ur being kinda dumb. Either you can get her to have feelings for you, or you give up on it. And backing out of a class to avoid seeing her is straight up bitch shit and you are fucking up your own plans for some girl you won't even remember a year from now. Spilling your guts and telling her everything you feel about her will just make her feel you are rly immature (because let's face it, longing for someone who is taken is kind of immature, socially anyway). I'm not a beacon of maturity just yet, nor are you. So ultimately the call is yours. But by the sound of things, my advice would be to cut your losses now until you mature a bit and figure out how to court a girl you are interested in. 

Yeah so what do I do now to handle the situation? Because I will probably still end up sitting next to her in class. Don't really want to make it awkward. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008

I think I am starting to realize that revealing my feelings is the worst thing you can do now in this part of my life. 

When I was younger, it guess it was easier for me to reveal such feelings and get the girl, but now I feel like that was just BS.

I think its better for me to not worry about how she feels about me and just enjoy or not enjoy or distance myself depending on how everything is going.

So I think with this chick, I think I should just go with the flow again. If she is going to distance herself from me, Ill just let it happen. 

It makes me look mature if I let things be and just worry about myself and what I do. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008

Not trying to impress her. I am still going to see her at school so I gotta handle it like that. 

 

edit" for as much as I want to forget her, still thinking about her. Fuck me. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008

question to DGz. First let me set it up

So wednesday, she didn't want to sit next to me and my friend (when she usually does) and instead wanted to go sit by herself and within seconds 2-3 guys try to sit next to her. I am not tripping. 

So the test is done, I go to the lab room and start finishing our last lab checkout, and she walks in and says hi and starts talking to me. Mainly just about lab stuff and the potluck the next day, which I planned on going to (free food eh?) and said she might. 

Then I bring up that the days before, she told me that she was not taking a class that was near the school I usually go to anymore that we both planned on taking. I plainly said I was happy that she taking another class instead, and that she should probably take the class somewhere else. She says she had no idea what was going through her mind when she got the class that we were both going to take (which I kinda knew but did not want to say anything) . She said it was not me but blaming the early schedule of the class. W/e

So then I am leaving and she hurrys up and trys to catch up to me (me thinking that she could have gone the other way if she was going to the library) and she starts talking again, mostly about her finals and mine, and mentions that I only have to take 2 classes (since I finished mine earlier), like some kind of guilt for her. We then reach an impass, and I tell her that I am taking a class during the summer, a calc class, and I mention the day and the hour and she tells me she either stuck taking a class that her and her boyfriend wants to take (chicano studies) or Calc, that class SHE ACTUALLY NEEDS. She says she cant make up her mind.

So I am like whatever dude, I am going to tutoring. and she goes to the library. 

So now the next day, she texts in the morning to the group chat, if we are going to the potluck. The thing about this group chat is that it is only 3 people, Me, her and the other friend, in which we both know my other friend cannot go because she works all other days. I just respond, "yea just thinking of what to get". She does not reply.

So I go, and not many people are there, since the thing is 5 hours, and she is not there either, so I am just chatting with some people and I leave early since I had work after. I text the group chat again (to play her game) and ask how was it, and she asks if I went, and I am like "didn't you?" She responds "Well I didn't, did I? lol I had prior commitments". Tf. ok. Don't text her back. nobody responds.

and now sunday, she asks for some help for the exam (even though I am pretty sure she has like 5 different people she can text, if she was really ignoring me), and yet I have not responded. Should I?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Wumbologist    14204

.......................................................................

  • Upvote 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Nate1080    1224

I thought I was an over thinker who read far too into things, but you take the cake.

Stop focusing so much on her, worrying about her movements, how she texts, etc. From personal experience, it doesn't end well.

  • Upvote 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
website is bad    2172

dgz, home of big dicked sociopaths (who cant talk to girls like normal human beings)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Sophocles    3075

even if you just want to be friends with this girl, she seems like a shitty friend

  • Upvote 7

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008
39 minutes ago, Sophocles said:

even if you just want to be friends with this girl, she seems like a shitty friend

edit:

I do think she's being shitty friend. But we had a lot of fun and good moments. Like I can't judge anybody tbh because you never know what is going on. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008
18 minutes ago, Telvin123 said:

I just... don't understand what you want from this person.

Ok I want to be with her. At first I didn't, but then I got feelings. But she rejected me and I am trying to move on. But if she contacts me, what do I do?

Like she rejected me, and I don't want to be just her friend if I still have feelings for her.

 

  • Downvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008
25 minutes ago, Telvin123 said:

 

So you want to be with her. She has a boyfriend. So this is dead before it even began.

And the fact that she's also giving off these mixed signals and has apparently rejected you should be even more proof that this is clearly not worth pursuing. And you already know what to do here. I too don't consider it to be worth it to remain friends with someone that has rejected you. I dunno why people always feel otherwise. As if they're obligated to continue being friends with people that don't reciprocate their feelings back, especially romantic ones. The majority of the time it just comes off as superficial or them just being polite, when both parties would normally be better off going their separate ways. I'm aware that saying this is much easier than actually doing it, but it's not really healthy to pretend you're fine with being just friends with her. You're clearly not. IMO, only when you're truly over her could you become friends again, but even then, it's best not to go down that road again. 

And as stated earlier, she really doesn't seem like she's even a good friend, but I don't know her so it's hard to say. Her current flakiness could easily be a result of you having made things for quite some time, judging by your previous posts when you were still figuring out whether or not you liked her.

In short, I say be done with her.

 

Yeah I am done with her, and I have already taken the necessary steps, even getting 2 numbers and already talking to new people.

edit: I still like her, but I am mostly moving on. 90-10 tbh.

 

My only thing is that I kinda feel obligated to answer her, because ever since I told her my feelings, it looks like she not been doing well in the class I am in with her. People also that go to the tutoring program also have been telling me that she has been struggling, mainly not finishing assignments. and now she is asking for help (when before I offered my help but she rejected it, citing that she can ask other people), and I feel bad about not helping.

But to me, it just looks like she is trying to get my attention without having to dedicate talking to me one on one, through the group chat, which at this point, the other person cant really help since she has been missing a few classes lol

  • Downvote 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jazz    5323
On 5/29/2016 at 11:08 PM, Silverdude said:

So I go, and not many people are there, since the thing is 5 hours, and she is not there either, so I am just chatting with some people and I leave early since I had work after. I text the group chat again (to play her game) and ask how was it, and she asks if I went, and I am like "didn't you?" She responds "Well I didn't, did I? lol I had prior commitments". Tf. ok. Don't text her back. nobody responds.

Lying about a pot luck: The foundation of a healthy romantic relationship.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
+Silver    1008

I ended it. Just told her I can't talk to her and pretend to be friend when I want something more. More of the lines of I have more self-respect and she agreed. She also mentioned she was not looking for somebody to care about her that she has enough people to do that (whatever that means), that she always dealt with being alone ever since she was a kid. She seemed like she did not care at all at the end. Like she had better things to do (which I kinda doubt tbh, she started to do really badly in school from what I have been learning).

 

Oh well. If she text's back, I am probably not answering. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jazz    5323

I'm sorry but the way you handled this situation wasn't very mature or honest. If you had been straightforward with yourself, with us, and with her, this could have been much simpler and far less dramatic.

Try to take some lessons from this and be a better person going forward. It'll make you more emotionally attractive to the women you encounter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

×