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I don't normally post but I need advice

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+Silver    1008
1 minute ago, Jazz said:

I'm sorry but the way you handled this situation wasn't very mature or honest. If you had been straightforward with yourself, with us, and with her, this could have been much simpler and far less dramatic.

Try to take some lessons from this and be a better person going forward. It'll make you more emotionally attractive to the women you encounter.

I was very straightforward with her. and I also was with you guys.

The thing I learned is that I cannot be hoping to get with women that are not available and I need to assess myself if I can stay in just a friendship with women that become my friends later in the future. 

I always try to come into relationships not trying to be quickly attracted to the person I am engaging in because that can lead to easy disappointment for myself. 

I never really intended to be attracted to her, but naturally, the more I hung out with her, I became attracted to her after learning we had so much in common. and once I felt that I could not hold my feeling's anymore for her, I let her know about it. 

I got rejected, oh well, it just becomes experience and it helps me understand who I am in the long run and helps me understand how to handle situations like these. 

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Jazz    5327
5 minutes ago, Silverdude said:

I was very straightforward with her. and I also was with you guys.

The thing I learned is that I cannot be hoping to get with women that are not available and I need to assess myself if I can stay in just a friendship with women that become my friends later in the future. 

I always try to come into relationships not trying to be quickly attracted to the person I am engaging in because that can lead to easy disappointment for myself. 

I never really intended to be attracted to her, but naturally, the more I hung out with her, I became attracted to her after learning we had so much in common. and once I felt that I could not hold my feeling's anymore for her, I let her know about it. 

I got rejected, oh well, it just becomes experience and it helps me understand who I am in the long run and helps me understand how to handle situations like these. 

Lying in group texts about attendance to a pot luck, in a meager attempt to make someone feel guilty for a perceived slight, is not straightforward. When you "play games" with misinformation--that is dishonest and people will lose trust in you. All relationships are built upon trust, and if there is no trust, the relationship is a facade.

This is just one example you shared with us. I'm almost positive there are more you didn't, or maybe you didn't even realize you were doing it.

I think most of all though, you weren't honest with yourself about what you wanted to be.

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+Silver    1008
1 minute ago, Jazz said:

Lying in group texts about attendance to a pot luck, in a meager attempt to make someone feel guilty for a perceived slight, is not straightforward. When you "play games" with misinformation--that is dishonest and people will lose trust in you. All relationships are built upon trust, and if there is no trust, the relationship is a facade.

This is just one example you shared with us. I'm almost positive there are more you didn't, or maybe you didn't even realize you were doing it.

I think most of all though, you weren't honest with yourself about what you wanted to be.

I didnt O_o. I told her I was only going to be there for half an hour originally when I asked her about it since I had work. 

The only thing that bothered me was that she said she might pass by (which I understand) and asks again in the group chat the next day (for which she knows the other person is not going because of work). So I am like after all that, you decide not to go? and then tell me "oh I had prior commitments." Ok. 

 

 

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Jazz    5327
1 hour ago, Silverdude said:

I didnt O_o. I told her I was only going to be there for half an hour originally when I asked her about it since I had work. 

The only thing that bothered me was that she said she might pass by (which I understand) and asks again in the group chat the next day (for which she knows the other person is not going because of work). So I am like after all that, you decide not to go? and then tell me "oh I had prior commitments." Ok. 

 

 

1. You attended pot luck.

2. You asked her how it was.

Maybe this was innocent but still incredibly douchey. Something like hey I was there for a bit but didn't see you, did you go? Would have been much more straightforward and far less douchey.

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