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How to tell a girl you're NOT stalking her?

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+mmf    23450

realistically if this chick is packing there's at least a little more escalation that needs to happen between you following her and her shooting u, even if she's the most man-hating tumblr-gargling radfem on ur campus

 

if its something lighter like mace or a tazer u might just have to take that for the team tho bruh

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Me.    69
9 hours ago, oliver? said:

im from new zealand and this thread isn't making me jealous of america at all :[[

 

A friends from Mexico once told me that he's looking forward to Trump's wall as a way to keep the Americans out, this thread has made me realize just how right he was.

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Sophocles    2902

If it happens again, just strike up a conversation, but don't talk about stalking or something like that. You avoid getting shot and you made a new friend!

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Nelrick    2391

Once you reach your car, (if she thinks you are stalking her, that is) wouldnt she just realize that you parked there too? that sort of eliminates any future shooting since she knows by now that you just parked your car near hers. From reading this thread it seems that you already managed that so whats the problem now? did she not see you go into your car?

 

OR is she gonna think that you parked the car there JUST to stalk her?

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Nelrick    2391

Either way the truth is that this is just a case of you having paranoia from spending too much time listening to women on their gender studies classes. Realistically speaking, if feminists were to carry guns wouldnt their speech on men rapists reflect that? Such as them advocating women to pack guns to surely defend themselves. From what i hear, the speech they give involves has never involved telling women to carry guns. So i dont know why you would think she is carrying one. 

 

In fact, do you know or heard  of any women in your campus that actually carries a gun?

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Me.    69
23 minutes ago, Nelrick said:

Once you reach your car, (if she thinks you are stalking her, that is) wouldnt she just realize that you parked there too? that sort of eliminates any future shooting since she knows by now that you just parked your car near hers. From reading this thread it seems that you already managed that so whats the problem now? did she not see you go into your car?

 

OR is she gonna think that you parked the car there JUST to stalk her?

 

 

On 2016-08-29 at 6:38 PM, ACP said:

She got to her car before I got to mine and drove off.

 

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»Relianah    4515
On 29/08/2016 at 1:23 PM, Gojira said:

She probably didn't even notice you

Story of his life

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Mr Dragon    301

If two people can't walk for a not especially long amount of time in the same direction in broad daylight without ensuing paranoia about one raping or shooting the other then our society is fucking screwed.

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Me.    69
19 hours ago, Mr Dragon said:

 our society is fucking screwed.

Quoting for emphasis.

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SSJ Grumpig    5618

ignore the situation and her, act and walk like you belong where you are. if you cant manage that then wait a few minutes to leave/leave a few minutes early

 

in all likelihood she did not notice. i've found observant people to be a rarity, but even if she did, the fact you haven't heard a negative response from anybody (faculty/other students) should attest to how minor this situation actually is. if you don't blow it out of proportion in your head, then it becomes what it is - a small coincidence between two people in the same circumstance

 

i also don't think the general populace is anywhere near as paranoid as you seem to view them. i understand when you say all the girls you talk to seem to disprove that, but also keep in mind that who we are and our personalities dictate, to an extent, the type of people we interact with IRL

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On 8/29/2016 at 0:38 PM, ACP said:

Ok, so today I got myself into an awkward situation (at least to me it felt like one), so I want to ask the social interactions experts on DGz, is there a good way to tell a girl that you're absolutely 100% definitely not stalking her?

 

Let me give you some backstory before you people think I'm a creep too. Basically, this is all about me being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

So I go to university every day Monday through Thursday. Now rather than park on campus, I actually park way off campus and walk a couple of miles to class every day. You'll see how this is all relevant to the stalking situation in a second. Anyways, I do this for a few reasons. First of all, it saves me money semester by not having to pay to park on campus (yes, I'm quite stingy). Secondly, the supply of parking spaces on campus is way too damn low, so even if you do want to pay to park on campus, you have to drive around for 15+ minutes just to find a spot. Because of this, parking off campus and walking doesn't really take significantly more of your time. My walk takes roughly 20 minutes. And last, it's good exercise.

 

So anyways, I've been doing this for awhile. I always park in the same exact area, in the same exact spot, then cross a busy road to get to the border of campus, then walk to the center of campus to find the math building. I basically park outside some business that doesn't give a shit. I essentially found a way to cheat the system (by avoiding paying for parking) and obviously no one else who goes to my school knows about this or they'd be parking there too (unless they're just that fucking lazy and hate walking).

 

Today started like any other day. I parked in my usual spot, walked to class. I got out of class, then talked to a professor that I was going to be TAing for. After that was over, I left the math building, with the intention of making my usual, long 20 minute trek back to my car.

 

Now here's where things start to get awkward. There's this girl. She doesn't come out of the math building, but it's one of the nearby ones. She's walking in front of me and walking roughly in the same direction as me. But hey, there are lots of people on campus all walking around, so who cares, right? Neither of us even really notice the other at first.

 

We both walk past the library. She's still in front of me. We walk past the parking lot. She's still in front of me. We walk past the information center. She's still in front of me. At this point, we're on a less busy part of campus, 10 minutes have passed, and I'm still "following" her. But hey, at some point, she's got to be going somewhere else, because no one is crazy enough to park all the way off campus like I do, right?

 

Well no, apparently not. Eventually we both cross the street to get off campus. I guess she had the exact same idea as me, and we had parked in the exact same parking lot off campus. She was clearly freaked out, because from her perspective, it looked like I had followed her for 20 minutes to where she had parked off campus. She got to her car before I got to mine and drove off.

 

Now she never said anything to me this whole time and I never said a word to her this whole time. It seemed like anything that I could say would just make the situation only more awkward. She was also listening to music on her headphones, which made me even less inclined to say something to her, since people listening to music usually don't want to be bothered.

 

So in Florida, stalking is more or less defined as "following someone for an extended period of time" which I definitely did. In Florida, we also have a Stand Your Ground law, which says that anytime that you fear for your life, you have the right to shoot them with impunity. In other words, I basically legally gave this girl this right to kill me, which is kind of scary for me. But at the same time, she was probably scared as shit too. She's probably posting on tumblr right now about this being an example of problematic rape culture on college campuses or something. My only saving grace was that this all happened in broad daylight in a decent part of town. If I were a rapist, this would've been a terrible time to try something. So hopefully she realized that too, but most women have to be on their guard at all times, because there legitimately are a lot of shady characters out there; I just happen to not be one of them.

 

So tl;dr: I obviously didn't do anything wrong, but I feel like I did. To an outside observer, it certainly looks like I was attempting to follow this somewhat attractive girl for 20 minutes to where she was parked, in a parking lot where there were basically no other cars than hers and mine. So what am I supposed to do here? I basically got lucky that she didn't have mace in her purse or some shit, because I'm pretty sure at some point she would have considered using it. Getting her attention and saying, "btw I'm not a creeper" seems like exactly the type of thing that a creeper would say. In fact, trying to get within a few feet of her at all to say something is probably taking a big risk. Please post your suggested solutions below.

Bolded isn't necessarily true. Are you following someone or did you both happen to be going in the same direction? (sorry law school thinking taking over) 

 

Anyway, if you want to avoid this problem in general, couldn't you have just walked in front/ahead of her (assuming this is some kind of constant repeating issue.) That should/would probably make your intent much clearer. Additionally if this is happening on a constant basis, I doubt she is paying you any mind because she probably has figured out youre just going to your car which you said was the only other 1 in the lot basically. 

 

Honestly, I'd probably just leave it alone. If you feel like you legitimately need to do something, I'd either hang a little further back behind her so that there's a "safe distance" between you two or just walk ahead of her so she doesn't have any reason to think that you aren't going to you're destination. 

 

 

 

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herbie ✌    1340

I think this whole thing is just silly.
Obviously she'd know you had the same thought as her and parked outside of the campus because its a universal thing that campus parking is shit.
And the whole gun thing is unfortunate, just living in the US so its a possibility but like you said it's unlikely she would have one on her for the same reason you mentioned, campus' are gun free zones.
If she acknowledges you in the future just give her a nod or something, please dont be an awkard fucker like everyone on here seems to be and speed up/slow down or check your phone. 

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Silver    967

I feel like a year from now we going to go back to this thread and find out that the girl ACP "stalked" will be his new GF.

 

Honestly don't be a paranoid fool and just say sup. 

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+JC.    4855
On 8/30/2016 at 2:48 PM, Nelrick said:

Once you reach your car, (if she thinks you are stalking her, that is) wouldnt she just realize that you parked there too? that sort of eliminates any future shooting since she knows by now that you just parked your car near hers. From reading this thread it seems that you already managed that so whats the problem now? did she not see you go into your car?

 

OR is she gonna think that you parked the car there JUST to stalk her?

 

asking questions already answered by the post & bolded is wifom

clearly just trying to fit in

fos nelrick

 

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+Markus    2146
On 8/29/2016 at 0:52 PM, ACP said:

Pretty much every woman in their 20s that I talk to acts like men are trying to rape them all of the time, and you have to have eyes in the back of your head and be trained in 3 forms of martial arts to avoid it. Maybe women have just been grossly misleading me, but they act like all woman are on their guard 100% of the time when it comes to this stuff. So yeah, from what I've been told, it seems unlikely that she just didn't care about being walking behind her.

Maybe you're just a creepy ginger kid and people are on alert when they're in your presence.

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+Markus    2146

It doesn't matter. If she has a problem she will confront you, don't dare to worry about it, especially as she can't make any significant impact on your life and you're not dating. If she's ahead of you walking you don't need to walk faster at all or do anything. Don't freak out like you did with this thread, just chill.

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+Markus    2146

Also, if you have a change of heart and want to be honest with your true, creepy, ginger self I can help you with that too.

 

You can make toxic chloroform out of isopropyl rubbing alcohol and chlorine bleach. You're welcome.

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Warthog    165

Stop giving a fuck and just say hi and stop being awkward. You could also just ignore her, like I normally do to people when walking, and that will work too.

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Aaron    1989

tbh best thing to do is just be confident and pretend u weren't stalking her..

 

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