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TheGoldenTyranno

Meditating On The Crazy Dude In The Mirror and How He Got There

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11 hours ago, Axle said:

NIGGAS GLASSES GO FLYIN

 

and on the topic of GoldenTyranno, 5+ years back he would be banned 5 times over by now. Just for being annoying. That's sorta a meme. 

So earlier this morning I was in the shower mast... uh, I mean washing my hair  and I started wondering how in hell's name did I become the obnoxious idiot I am today other than growing up watching SpongeBob of course. I think I've concluded being a very suppressed by the book JROTC stick in the mud because that was what was expected caused me to take a major reverse course when I grew up and I rebelled against all that. Just look at me at age 16 vs age 21. I would have obeyed orders and respected authority then but now I can actually be happy and enjoy my life. Frankly, though my 16-year-old self if he could see me now, would be thinking how the hell did I become a hippie?

4ed5e46f28104229b12ecacaff5a3cd9.png766803ab0c7b4c8b81c4b83c9b870138.png

 

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website is bad    2170

probably hed think youre stupid, like most people!

 

regardless of the "reason" it is really not hard to behave like a human being who respects the concepts of social interaction and not being obnoxious and a creep please try for once in your life motherfucker

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Nate1080    1224

I'm on my phone scrolling down, I expected a story after the pictures explaining why you are the way you are.

 

I'm extremely disappointed honestly.

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55 minutes ago, Nate1080 said:

I'm on my phone scrolling down, I expected a story after the pictures explaining why you are the way you are.

 

I'm extremely disappointed honestly.

First I've got a Tom Petty song for you:

 

Now since you apparently want to go there it all starts back in 2008 when I was 13 the economy was on the brink of collapse, Barack Obama was promising an idealistic new era in politics to move the nation forward, my mother was pregnant, my dad got in a car wreck, it was the last year I played Yugioh IRL or at all before I became an adult, my family was short on money, my Grandma(who died this year almost exactly 8 years from when this all went down) was showing clear signs of slipping into dementia, and life was naturally chaotic. It was a perfect storm of stress and hard times and that's when the State Department of Children Services swooped in and yanked me and my at the time 3 siblings as my future youngest brother had yet to be born. I spent 3 months in foster care then as what I was told at the time was a way to go ahead and get us out of foster care custody was transferred to my mother's older sister "temporarily". 8 years later and my aunt still has 3 of my siblings while the oldest of my younger sisters who is grown now as well and my youngest sister who was born well after this all went live at home. This is why the happiest portion of my life is before I became a teenager because when I did my life got ripped away from me and in the back of my mind I still wish I could go back and live a better life. It's also why I have a strong distaste for intrusive authoritarian government. 

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»ACP    33398

See a psychologist. You clearly have some sort of social disorder; I'm just not well-versed enough in the field of psychology to be able to tell you which one with any kind of certainty.

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2 minutes ago, ACP said:

See a psychologist. You clearly have some sort of social disorder; I'm just not well-versed enough in the field of psychology to be able to tell you which one with any kind of certainty.

I know your right. I should. Every time I think I'm gonna make an appointment I end up putting it off but I know it's holding me back  and making it hard to progress in life so I've got to put first things first and just get it done.

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mark    3105
4 hours ago, subculture bitch said:

probably hed think youre stupid, like most people!

 

regardless of the "reason" it is really not hard to behave like a human being who respects the concepts of social interaction and not being obnoxious and a creep please try for once in your life motherfucker

This is one of the cases where I actually think he's right: if someone cannot do something that's so simple to normal people, then they can objectively say there's at least 'something' wrong with them, and one way or another, something has caused that to be the case, simply because normal people don't act that way. I kind of get what you're saying as well though because talking yourself into the idea that you can't change yourself probably is the main factor why you can't change yourself to begin with. I guess this is the biggest paradox of life. You have the power to change almost everything a human being can, but you don't have the power to know whether you realize, accept and believe that you can, so I guess people who think they can't change are both right and wrong at the same time, as weird as that may sound. 

That said, OP is quite disappointing 

 

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website is bad    2170

heres the thing though: even mental illness is not an excuse. this is a common refrain in the mentally ill community because even most of us can understand what is or isnt okay to do to others. and if our illness impacts that we need some way to work on it. whether thats treatment or something else. if you acknowledge issues you cause and perpetuate and then say "well thats just how i am" you are making an active decision to continue being shitty. and other people will often (rightly) disassociate with you because being hurt yourself doesnt justify hurting others.

 

tyrano here himself admits that he doesnt make enough of an effort to start therapy, which would be a great first step. as mean as it sounds, no one is obligated to stand there and deal with his shit just because.

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Mascis    4478

can someone throw their phone in their pocket and delete this bitch 

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You know it's far easier to be critical of others out loud than it is to be critical of one's self out loud. I could point out the flaws that are apparent for every single user who responds to this thread but frankly no matter my intention it certainly would appear as though I'm trying to deflect criticism onto others and no one would benefit from such an exercise. If you deny however the assumption I just made that everyone has flaws I'm sorry if you are insulted but it's true and you're deluding yourself if you think otherwise. Sure you could disregard what I'm getting ready to and have already said as the ranting of self-diagnosed mental patient or whatever insult you should so desire to hurl my way but ask yourself this is that a healthy response on your part in the first place? I would be the first to agree you always have the opportunities to better yourself but when judging others should you not first judge yourself and deal with your own apparent flaws? Perhaps I've been a hypocrite at times perhaps I've been any number of negative things. However, I sure as hell know and WILL fix what flaws I can but is it so much to expect my critics to humble themselves and see they aren't perfect and they could use some improvement too?

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website is bad    2170

show us instead of whining for a paragraph. dont assume you know shit about anyone else if they havent told you. i know plenty of my flaws and work on them, which already puts me ahead if youre gonna try and sling that at me. humility does not mean we need to accept your bare ass shit self, ever ever ever. especially since youve been incredibly averse to humility this entire time with your "hee hee, arent i just such an asshole?" and "wow, dont you guys have more fun when i barge in and antagonize people just because?"

 

again, acceptance of bullshit is never required and should never be expected. part of working on your flaws is unequivocally stating theyre bad. just because youve written a paragraph about how youre "trying" doesnt mean your shit doesnt stink. anyone elses issues dont even come into play. stop deflecting.

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@TheGoldenTyranno you know who a good person would be to tell about your deep-seated psychological issues?

A therapist.

Not the Internet. You don't want this shit out there.

Google some child/developmental psychologists in your area and make some phone calls Monday morning. 
This is not an insult; a Psy D who specializes in "how fucked up kids turn into fucked up adults" can push you in the right direction and they almost always take Medicaid.
If you choose to reply to this thread before you choose to call a licensed therapist, that's on you. Don't say "I know I should" like some kind of inert being with no agency or self-responsibility, say "I will." This is ONE SMALL THING that YOU CAN DO to begin fighting back up the downhill slope of your relationships with others. It takes less than an hour of effort to set up. If you can't figure out how to navigate the decorum of an Internet forum where people say "faggot", it's not other people, it's you.

I was a really shitty human being until I got help and started putting in work. Now I am a somewhat decent human being with some regrets. This has resulted in many immense improvements in my life, some of which started immediately, some of which only became visible in hindsight six or seven years later. People in general are a lot more tolerant and forgiving of assholes who are actively trying to redeem themselves and modify their behavior. If you have a low opinion of yourself, it may be accurate, but if it you let it keep you from being who you want to be, who you can be, you're wasting the precious gift that is being alive--and of all times and places, 21st century Earth in a liberal democratic republic--as a Homo sapiens who has the freedom and literacy to shitpost on an Internet forum centered around children's card games so much that you actually develop a bad reputation for it. Wearing personality defects as merit badges just makes you look like a dick with a chip on your shoulder. You're an adult now so none of that is anyone else's problem unless you make it so. Own your shit and fix it.

if you did JROTC surely you've read Starship Troopers? Lot of relevant lessons in that book.

tl;dr listen to @ACP and @subculture bitch

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Grimey    8112
6 hours ago, TheGoldenTyranno said:

However, I sure as hell know and WILL fix what flaws I can but is it so much to expect my critics to humble themselves and see they aren't perfect and they could use some improvement too?

 

So you're just gonna start lying now? 

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SSJ Grumpig    5618

something tells me tennessee doesn't have expanded medicaid, just saiyan

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mark    3105
8 hours ago, subculture bitch said:

heres the thing though: even mental illness is not an excuse. this is a common refrain in the mentally ill community because even most of us can understand what is or isnt okay to do to others. and if our illness impacts that we need some way to work on it. whether thats treatment or something else. if you acknowledge issues you cause and perpetuate and then say "well thats just how i am" you are making an active decision to continue being shitty. and other people will often (rightly) disassociate with you because being hurt yourself doesnt justify hurting others.

 

tyrano here himself admits that he doesnt make enough of an effort to start therapy, which would be a great first step. as mean as it sounds, no one is obligated to stand there and deal with his shit just because.

You do not acknowledge the fact that 'searching excuses/not seeking help' is a part of mental illness itself: which definitely isn't the same as saying 'oh im ill, so im not to blame', moreso it is saying 'i am making these excuses because i am not thinking clearly, but realizing my incorrect thoughts are the cause of that means i shouldnt listen to them, and should seek help instead', and yes I believe people are capable of doing that, my attitude towards this is basically 'a problem can be solved, but it cannot be denied'. That's basically the same as saying to fat people: yeah I don't care how hungry you are, you should just be eating less. Well, if they were to 'just be eating less', they wouldn't be fat to begin with, so of course there's going to be a cause to them eating too much - whether that's pure laziness or an unstoppable hunger, is a different discussion, but there's got to be a reason for it somewhere, because most people prefer not to be fat. Realizing the cause of a problem is a good start, which is what OP is currently doing, and seeking a psychiatrist or talking to someone trusted will likely be the following step. 

 

6 hours ago, TheGoldenTyranno said:

You know it's far easier to be critical of others out loud than it is to be critical of one's self out loud. I could point out the flaws that are apparent for every single user who responds to this thread but frankly no matter my intention it certainly would appear as though I'm trying to deflect criticism onto others and no one would benefit from such an exercise. If you deny however the assumption I just made that everyone has flaws I'm sorry if you are insulted but it's true and you're deluding yourself if you think otherwise. Sure you could disregard what I'm getting ready to and have already said as the ranting of self-diagnosed mental patient or whatever insult you should so desire to hurl my way but ask yourself this is that a healthy response on your part in the first place? I would be the first to agree you always have the opportunities to better yourself but when judging others should you not first judge yourself and deal with your own apparent flaws? Perhaps I've been a hypocrite at times perhaps I've been any number of negative things. However, I sure as hell know and WILL fix what flaws I can but is it so much to expect my critics to humble themselves and see they aren't perfect and they could use some improvement too?

This is the best post I've seen you make, and it's true that it's easier to criticize others, even though this is a site where the majority of people is actually highly self critical. That said though, it's pretty annoying as hell though when you keep taking things personally, keep in mind that we're not judging you as a person or a human being, just the way you post on this website. Your problems aren't other peoples problems, and atm you're wasting a lot of people's time by being straight up stubborn all the time without showing any willingness to change, yes in words, but not in actions. The normal response to getting negged to death and getting advice from 10 different people would be to either stop posting for a few months and listen to what they say, or decide that these people aren't the type of people you want to hang around with and just leave. Not by arguing everyone and justifying your behavior by saying 'I'm free to do what I want', etc. Because when you think about it: people are free to judge you for it as well, and I assume you don't like that either, so I suggest you give up that attitude, it's not helping anyone.

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buckwheatloaf    205

yasssssssssssss. group therapy. i want in on this. diagnose me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

jk im perfect & hav no flaws

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1 hour ago, mark said:

You do not acknowledge the fact that 'searching excuses/not seeking help' is a part of mental illness itself: which definitely isn't the same as saying 'oh im ill, so im not to blame', moreso it is saying 'i am making these excuses because i am not thinking clearly, but realizing my incorrect thoughts are the cause of that means i shouldnt listen to them, and should seek help instead',

I feel like that was implicit in that post; "doesn't matter how ill you are when you hurt people, you still hurt people and you're still accountable for that, so instead of prolonging treatment: don't" was the gist I got from them.

@SSJ Grumpig KY was lucky enough to have Gov. Brashear to proactively set this stuff up at the start of Obamacare; our current Gov. is trying to destroy it because insane.  I didn't think about how TN might differ. That said, sliding scale clinics will work with the indigent and many psychs will offer discounted rates. 

Edited by Human Tetherball
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mark    3105
2 minutes ago, Human Tetherball said:

I feel like that was implicit in that post; "doesn't matter how ill you are when you hurt people, you still hurt people and you're still accountable for that, so instead of prolonging treatment: don't" was the gist I got from them.

That seems like an ignorant way of viewing the world. We accept that people who have physical illnesses cannot do certain things, yes we'd expect them to seek help, but we don't expect someone who can't walk to walk to a hospital, or someone who's locked up to call for help when they don't have a phone. These are situations that we can understand that the person is not able to do a certain thing. Now, if we accept this to be the case, and we also accept the fact mental illnesses DO exist, we can say one of 2 things:
- say that the person is healthy but uses mental illness as an excuse not to put in work
- acknowledge the person does have a mental illness
Now, the thing with mental illnesses is that people who suffer from them can't think clearly: one way or another, your brain does not work the way it should, so your thoughts aren't how they should be either. To say that's not the case is to either ignore the existence of the disease itself, which is ignorant, or to say that the person in question does not suffer from an illness at all. The thing with this, though, is that healthy people think healthy, and unhealthy people think unhealthy. So there's no way to 'hide' who you are, and one way or another, there's going to be something wrong with them. It's like people who suffer from Munchausen: they don't have the diseases they think they have, but they do have a disease that makes them think they do. That cannot be denied.
Note that I'm not necessarily disagreeing with you guys, because I agree with the fact that's the way you should view the world, I just think telling people what they should know already doesn't work - because if they did, then well, they knew already, so you shouldn't have to tell. If that were the case, you should never correct anyone's behavior because people 'should already be doing all that stuff by themselves', which is an utopia: we do not live in a perfect world. Yes, people should be acting a certain way, but that doesn't mean they do, and just telling them they should and that it's not hard is not going to change that: for them it is hard apparently, because if something wasn't holding them back they would be just normal and we wouldn't have this conversation 
oh, and saying 'it doesn't matter how ill you are, you're still hurting people', would mean that someone who gets ebola and infects other people without realizing should be held accountable as well - that's just not how the world works, no one chooses illness and it should be solved but never ignored 

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@mark
I don't think anyone here is stigmatizing mental illness so much as speaking from experience regarding mental illness. 

A lot of realtalk and encouragement is important to helping people, say, with an amotivational disorder or just plain aversion, to get motivated. You have to get a person to move from an external locus of control to an internal one before they'll seek help. You have to be retaught how to think about your own agency, so you'll complete therapy and maintain your mental health after. If you don't want it you won't do it. If you won't do it you don't want it. Mantras like that help reinforce the idea that you are capable of exercising your will rather than daydreaming about it.

I had to be told several times by everyone whose opinion mattered to me that I needed help and to go get help . I had to be persuaded and supported over a long period of time in this effort but I did. It's not like things are fairy tale better but I have had positive results over time, all of which built on each other and continue to be built on, so I'm gonna preach to the choir because it took a good amount of hearing to finally convince me. I have had to deal with the consequences of my actions despite being mentally ill, as does anyone, and the toll you take on others is a moral injury you want to mitigate. You'll feel guiltier the longer you wait.

If a person is posting online about their problems they're asking for help of some kind, we need to encourage them to seek professional help; this kind of bluntness and frankness helped me put my experiences into context over time until I decided I needed to change and couldn't wait any longer. The more times he hears or sees "go get professional help, you need it and you can get it" in some form or another the better.

I don't know to interpret the following in your post then, if you disagree:
 

"That said though, it's pretty annoying as hell though when you keep taking things personally, keep in mind that we're not judging you as a person or a human being, just the way you post on this website. Your problems aren't other peoples problems, and atm you're wasting a lot of people's time by being straight up stubborn all the time without showing any willingness to change, yes in words, but not in actions. The normal response to getting negged to death and getting advice from 10 different people would be to either stop posting for a few months and listen to what they say, or decide that these people aren't the type of people you want to hang around with and just leave. Not by arguing everyone and justifying your behavior by saying 'I'm free to do what I want', etc. Because when you think about it: people are free to judge you for it as well, and I assume you don't like that either, so I suggest you give up that attitude, it's not helping anyone."

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mark    3105

This pretty much went from 'you're stupid, it's not hard to act normal', to 'convince people who need it to seek help', and I definitely agree with the latter, so now that we agree I'll just leave it at that. 

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On 10/21/2016 at 0:38 AM, SSJ Grumpig said:

something tells me tennessee doesn't have expanded medicaid, just saiyan

No, it does not and I'm currently uninsured. I think there is a way I can pay out of pocket though so I'm looking into it.

 

Also, in case you guys were wondering I got temp banned halfway through this convo which was nice. Apparently for saying this: 

Well anyhow I'm fortunate enough to be able to work despite my poor showing in social interaction so I'll be seeing you guys.

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»ACP    33398

Just realize that anytime that you're not banned, it's because I've decided that you're not banned. Realize that there are about 40 other staff members and only 1 of me, and eventually I just get tired of arguing with people, and thus I end up letting them ban you eventually. If you don't want to get banned, then try to be tolerated by more than 1 staff member on the entire board.

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website is bad    2170

you got banned for that post because you were already warned to not post off-topic shit in a thread you didnt belong in.

 

you dont even realize how soft you are being treated, because even for people who were not immensely disliked "directly disobeying staff verbal warning" was usually worth a timeout.

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8 hours ago, ACP said:

Just realize that anytime that you're not banned, it's because I've decided that you're not banned. Realize that there are about 40 other staff members and only 1 of me, and eventually I just get tired of arguing with people, and thus I end up letting them ban you eventually. If you don't want to get banned, then try to be tolerated by more than 1 staff member on the entire board.

Well, I think I was tolerated by Wumbo or at least it felt like he was warming up to me but sadly he is mod no more. Dickbick and Tygo seem to be the most adversarial towards me.

 

Oh by the way my boss, me, and the crew got a whole house foundation done today just before sundown. We stayed late so we could finish up or I'd have been back sooner. 

 

Edit: I feel like I slighted rei by not mentioning him because I feel he must like me alright to have added me on Facebook the other day 

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