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Faint    5420

ive had some drink so story time god damnit

 

so imagine faint in like 2011...young, fun and full of cum (as any 17 year old guy should be)

 

just split up with my gf of 2 years (THATS A LONG TIME AT THIS STAGE OF LIFE GUYS)

 

talking to a girl in the year below on fb chat

 

blonde, skinny, etc.

 

shes like "wanna come over? free house"

 

for my ex id drive like 45 mins to get to hers, whereas said girl only lived 15 mins away

 

so of course...YES

 

anyway i get to hers

 

shit starts to get real good

 

on her living room floor, getting frisky

 

shes on top of me at this point and we're both naked

 

i've rolled her over and we start banging

 

then she rolls over and goes on top

 

this is the first shag ive had since my ex so im like FUCK THIS IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOOD

 

she starts biting my neck, but something feels weird

 

like really weird

 

get a kind of tingling sensation in my leg

 

im like "lol whatever first bird since the ex so its probably normal to feel odd"

 

but the odd feeling kept going and became a real distratcion

 

eventually ive been like "ok get off somethings wrong"

 

so she climbs off me and there i see it

 

while shes on top of me, HER PET CHIHUAHUA HAS BEEN FUCKING THE BOTTOM OF MY LEG WHILE SHES BEEN RIDING MY DICK

 

i kick it off like WHAT THE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK and chase it out the room shouting

 

i slam her living room door and im like WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT A NORMAL THING

 

i look round and shes in literal floods of tears

 

im like "ok i know i wasnt that bad so uh what is going on here"

 

shes given me a filthy look and through teary eyes has gone "its my first time"

 

before i could say a word she has run upstairs in her house balling her eyes out

 

at this point, her dog has got back into the room

 

im eye to eye with the dog, and we both have raging erections

 

this is awkward

 

i put my clothes on and leave and never see or speak to said girl again

 

the end

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Jazz    4569

Misplayed.

 

The dog was clearly a scanner that knew you were scum.

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Faint    5420
On 1/21/2017 at 3:41 PM, Myth said:

Did the dog finish?

we had a naked erection stare off

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Faint    5420
On Sat Feb 11 2017 at 10:38 PM, Silverdude said:

was the chihuahua bigger than you ?

What the smaller of us lacked in tge act, we made up for in enthusiasm

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Sophocles    2591

Just realized you got chased off his girl by an a l p h a dog

 

you're a fucking beta, faint

  • Upvote 2

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Faint    5420
On 5/28/2017 at 1:22 PM, Sophocles said:

Just realized you got chased off his girl by an a l p h a dog

 

you're a fucking beta, faint

Worst thing is that the dog got literally the same amount of action i did

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