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Aaron

Advice for younger people thread

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Aaron    1966

Just thought I'd use this thread to drop a bit of advice to younger people. I'm in my late 20s now.  I'm a doctor, sit around 8-9% body fat in good shape, I've had relationships with quite a few beautiful women but I have so many regrets and learning points for time which I feel won't come back. No ones perfect and I could probably list 1000 positives about my life and myself and 1000 negatives. Everythings a double edges sword.

 

Be confident, ambitious and independant.. you'll probably bang loads of girls, have lots of money and have the freedom to go anywhere with no worries. The drawback? Well you might lose a lot of friends along the way because you let them go easily and don't stay in touch, you might be a bit too maerialistic, you might struggle to hold down long term relationships.  So yeah, always have balance. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway big advice areas:

 

 

 

1. Study and find a job you know you'll love and make sure you love it. 

As a doctor I've studied a lot and been quite lucky. However do I enjoy my job? Sometimes, maybe a lot of the time but there are jobs I'm probably better suited for in all honesty. I like work but being a doctor is a vocation, its a life style. In the Emergency department I worked the following shifts throughout 4 months: 8 to 4, 9 to 5, 7PM til 3AM, 5PM til 1AM, 8PM to 8AM, 12PM til 12AM, 11AM til 11PM, 1PM to 1AM and I can say its fucking hard. The work is fine, I'm quite good at it but the hours and the effect is has on your social life is really brutal at times. 

 

2. Work out, stay healthy, look after your flexibility and aim for longevity in the gym.

Definitely workout, count macros early if you want to be in the top 5% and if you want longevity in the fitness thing, work on your mobility and the basics first. Unless you WANT to become a bodybuilder, aim to enhance performance and be well rounded. I have long term shoulder issues, poor flexibility in my hips, tight hamstrings, a poor high jump and its all down to mistakes made when new to lifting. 

 

3. Don't be too goal focussed, think about the journey. 

I actually got this from Hunter X Hunter and its so true. Be goal focussed to a degree... but enjoy the moment. When I set out to pass my degree, I wanted that degree. However do I look back on my life in university and think "fuck yes i got this degree and im earning lots of moneyzz now"... no. I look back and see the friendships I made, the memories I made etc. Recently I was in work with a jobs list which was mammoth sized... and I was keeping my head down, going from job to job, focussed.. and its not worth being like that. Sure, when its life and death be like that.. but when its not, you can afford to say hello to people, ask how their days are, flirt a little and enjoy the moment. Sure I clerk 24 patients in a day if I'm REALLY efficient.. but then you lose your humanity and interaction with them. 

 

4. See the world and have adventures.

My biggest regret is not seeing the world. I'm planning to do is this year but man, travelling is so good. 

 

5. Relationships

If you find someone special, try and stay with them and grow with them. I'm not going to lie, I'm probably the worst person to give relationship advice on given the plethora of girls ive fucked and the lack of long term relationships and its now a big regret. Sure there are hotter, more successful girls in the world than you are at the moment, but you never know where lifes going to take you and sometimes it takes you far away.

 

If you want girls and you're struggling,  from my experience with women they respond very well to being ripped/rich/obnoxiously confident and most of, if you're a social butterfly. If you want someone long term, thats a different story. 

 

6. Family; make sure you spend time with them

Cba to go into this but basically anything can happen at any time. My cousin's dad had a stroke recently. It made me realise how important family is. 

 

7. Procrastinate in the right way

Don't procrastinate like a dumb fuck. The hours I've wasted on social media and google pisses me off to this day. Have free time?  Play the best video games there are. Watch the best animes. Visit the best places. Watch the best films, Watch the best TV shows... but please don't do some mind numbingly boring shit.

 

8. Buy what you want hobby wise but try to invest in things more timeless

You won't regret buying a nice camera lens, you won't regret buying nice speakers, timeless clothes, you won't regret buying a nice watch... but you probably will regret those YGO cards, that PS4/Ps3, that TV you bought that has now been upgraded, that trendy now shitty looking T-shirt 

 

9. Drink less but enjoy it more

I used to party 4-5x a week. It wasn't even fucking partying looking back on it and it set my training back maybe 5 years and it HUGELY restricted what I could do in regards to travelling, etc. 

 

10. Don't fall into the trap of thinking your busy.

I used to think in university I was busy. I mean I had to study, do exams, do some essays or disserations... hm.. cook, clean... its fucking nothing compared to what I do now and I regret falling into the illusion that I was busy when I just wasn't being efficient.  Now I work 12 hour shifts, still manage to cook + clean, go the gym for 2-3 hours whilst cutting AND have some recreational time [okay i don't do this everyday lol]. 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, hope this help someone and I can't wait to read other people's advice after being on this earth for a while. 

 

 

 

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Haruki    9285

aaron is totally a slytherin

 

my advice: join pottermore and get sorted into a house. based on the house you're in you should focus on the traits you possess. i was sorted into ravenclaw on pottermore.

 

this is what i got from another quiz:

 

You Are 40% Ravenclaw, 27% Hufflepuff, 18% Slytherin, and 15% Gryffindor!
You definitely belong in Ravenclaw, but you have a kindness that sets you apart from most. While some Ravenclaws can be seen as slightly haughty or intimidating, your Hufflepuff side means you are more approachable, and therefore have an easier time making friends. Despite your softness, you find it easy to detach yourself from emotional situations and give objective viewpoints, making you the perfect person to go to for advice.

Your slight compatibility with Slytherin house suggests a determination to succeed, though not at the expense of traits from your more dominant houses.

 

and i was sorted into ravenclaw on pottermore so i'm the best person to go to for advice

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ZeroPassion    555
On 8/5/2017 at 1:41 PM, Aaron said:

9. Drink less but enjoy it more

I used to party 4-5x a week. It wasn't even fucking partying looking back on it and it set my training back maybe 5 years and it HUGELY restricted what I could do in regards to travelling, etc. 

 

Can you expand on how it set your training back/your restrictions? 

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Aaron    1966
4 hours ago, ZeroPassion said:

 

Can you expand on how it set your training back/your restrictions? 

 

Alcohol and training don't go hand in hand. ITs nearly impossible to party and maintain <10% bodyfat. It also dehydrates you and severely impacts both athletic and strength performance. 

From a travelling perspective, alcohol wastes money + time.

 

You can party 4x a week or you can go abroad every 2 weeks with that money. 

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Faint    5420

Loved it all, but point 10 is the biggest imo. You should always be thinking- can I do something better than right now? If the answer is yes, do it

 

if that means getting a better job? do it

if that means watching a better show? do it

if that means wanking over brynn tyler and lexi belle threesomes instead of lisa ann blowjobs? do it

 

the world is full of possibilities so make the most.

 

 

 

i also recently read a book by Dale Carniege called "How to win friends and influence people" and it taught a LOT of life lessons (would recommend to anyone). my favorite though is the point that  - NOBODY EVER WINS AN ARGUEMENT. avoid arguements and fights like the absolute plague, they dampen and ruin friendships and relationships. go and buy the book and read it just for this point.

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On 8/5/2017 at 2:41 PM, Aaron said:

7. Procrastinate in the right way

Don't procrastinate like a dumb fuck. The hours I've wasted on social media and google pisses me off to this day. Have free time?  Play the best video games there are. Watch the best animes. Visit the best places. Watch the best films, Watch the best TV shows... but please don't do some mind numbingly boring shit


Fuck yeah, this. Also, reading books.

My advice as a late 20's skinny nerd working part-time at a retail store, having fled his exploitative food safety and genomics careers [never work for Eurofins I promise you will regret it] for saner ground:  

-Do what you want, just don't be a dick.

-Go out of your way to help people that have nothing to offer you.

-Actively fight the bystander effect.

-Have self-respect. Learn how to say "fuck you" and "no".

-Nothing your job requires should put you at risk unless you are a first responder or in law enforcement. If your boss wants you to do something unsafe, refer to the point above. You can always get another job. Currency is currency. Don't work 60-70 hour workweeks if you like seeing friends, family, or your health.


-Care for another living creature, and I mean really care for it. Veterinarian visits, proper attention, pour love into it. You will grow as a person.


-If you're injured, whether somatic or psychic, get help. It's a waste of time not to. Having proper neurotransmitter ratios is like a fountain of youth for the depressed.
I also worked for an entire week, doing strenuous menial labor, with a ruptured appendix because I thought I was just being a pussy with my abdominal pain. I almost fucking died.There is such a thing as trying too hard to be tough, or self-reliant. I was raised to despise weakness--and fear showing it-- by a brutal idiot and that got me in a hospital bed. When death seems close you will feel some solace in the fact that you were on the right path in your life towards what you wanted for yourself before it came to that point, however, but being in a hospital is just the worst shit ever. Better than being dead though. This is a thing you don't want to put your friends and family through--take good care of yourself.

-If someone you trust tells you to seek help, trust them and do it.

-Get a woman/man to be your best friend and marry her/him when you're both ready. If you are not around my age or older, you are probably not ready. You will have to make a call at some point and this is one thing I will say you shouldn't be a pussy about. Love requires courage and never stops requiring it.

-Keep your eye on the ball. 90% of the shit contained in the idea of the 'real world' beaten into your head by institutions, [equally brainwashed] peers and entertainment media is bullshit and totally optional.

-Be very careful with drugs. Or just don't do them. Alcohol, meth and heroin are comparable in how much damage they can do once they take hold. Legal =/= safe, and vice versa.

-The only rule of being cool is respect. The lamest person ever who treats people with respect is way cooler than any disrespectful person. I have seen some really uninteresting but genuinely nice (not "nice") people go far in many social arenas. Being embarrassed to say sir and ma'am to strangers and elders is a sign of poor socialization, which is not necessarily your fault but can be fixed.

-Sociopaths are better than you at everything. don't try to be them and don't fret if you are bested by one. Just try to stay the fuck away.

-Learn the difference between conflicts that are worth your time and conflicts that aren't. Getting into a Facebook argument usually requires at least two idiots.

-Anyone who tries to start a fight with you has less to lose. There's no shame in de-escalating a situation and people will thank you for it. You're probably not the type that can win with one punch anyway. If you don't have a choice, don't hesitate, go fast and go hard. If you can run, do, and run towards people and not away. You may want to learn a practical martial art.

-Define yourself by what you do and not what you consume.

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Mustang    15

An investment in your education is the best investment you can ever make. 

 

Regarding the point above, try to get smart enough in whatever lucrative field you pursue, that you can afford to spend money to pay other people to do the things you don't want to do. 

 

Grind in your 20s, flourish in your 30s. Aim to retire in your 40s

 

Don't get stuck in the rat race. Time is more valuable than money. Cherish it. 

 

Focus on your career and your hobbies, don't chase bitches. Once you are successful, bitches flock to you. If you work hard for it, I suggest you enjoy that lifestyle for 10+ years. I probably am not going to settle down until I'm in my late 30s/40s. 

 

And always recognize your status in your pecking order. Never buy a more expensive watch than your boss. Just because you can afford it, doesn't mean you should buy it

 

Spend your money on experiences, time, and assets. Fuck all these shiny things, they are nice to have, but don't get obsessive over them like a bitch would

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Mustang    15

Also: Take toll highways. Pay for HOV memberships 

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Aaron    1966
3 hours ago, Mustang said:

An investment in your education is the best investment you can ever make. 

 

Regarding the point above, try to get smart enough in whatever lucrative field you pursue, that you can afford to spend money to pay other people to do the things you don't want to do. 

 

Grind in your 20s, flourish in your 30s. Aim to retire in your 40s

 

Don't get stuck in the rat race. Time is more valuable than money. Cherish it. 

 

Focus on your career and your hobbies, don't chase bitches. Once you are successful, bitches flock to you. If you work hard for it, I suggest you enjoy that lifestyle for 10+ years. I probably am not going to settle down until I'm in my late 30s/40s. 

 

And always recognize your status in your pecking order. Never buy a more expensive watch than your boss. Just because you can afford it, doesn't mean you should buy it

 

Spend your money on experiences, time, and assets. Fuck all these shiny things, they are nice to have, but don't get obsessive over them like a bitch would

 

 

I agree and disagree.

 

If you are lucky enough to be able to flourish in your 20s, do it! I had the choice this year to go into training earning 50k/year roughly for 3 years then 120k-200k/year+ following that or earn 100k/year now for a little while. I went for the 100k whilst im young, do the 3 years of 50k when I'm a little more settled and I've crossed some stuff off my bucket list. 

 

In general, definitely don't buy things which are a waste of money unless you REALLY want them. a 30k car when you don't even own a house or your house is some shitty 200k affair is just silly. You should be driving a shit car and investing in a nice property which should appreciate and pay you back. 

 

However I do sometimes feel people need to be put in their place (even seniors) and I will do it. I was working with a registrar in A+E who was pissing me the fuck off... (this means senior doctor basically but not a total boss senior). He kept annoying me, started talking about money, how much we earn in comparison (yes... i know what a weird man considering hes 10-20 years my senior). anyway I decided to just bring him down a little by mentioning I don't really care about my money as my parent's employees earn more than most doctors in the department. Within 15 minutes he was sat staring at a PC screen in quite obvious depression given how materialistic he is. He then spent the rest of the shift talking about how doctors are underpaid and he should have went into business. 

 

 

 

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Aaron    1966
16 hours ago, Human Tetherball said:


Fuck yeah, this. Also, reading books.

My advice as a late 20's skinny nerd working part-time at a retail store, having fled his exploitative food safety and genomics careers [never work for Eurofins I promise you will regret it] for saner ground:  

-Do what you want, just don't be a dick.

-Go out of your way to help people that have nothing to offer you.

-Actively fight the bystander effect.

-Have self-respect. Learn how to say "fuck you" and "no".

-Nothing your job requires should put you at risk unless you are a first responder or in law enforcement. If your boss wants you to do something unsafe, refer to the point above. You can always get another job. Currency is currency. Don't work 60-70 hour workweeks if you like seeing friends, family, or your health.


-Care for another living creature, and I mean really care for it. Veterinarian visits, proper attention, pour love into it. You will grow as a person.


-If you're injured, whether somatic or psychic, get help. It's a waste of time not to. Having proper neurotransmitter ratios is like a fountain of youth for the depressed.
I also worked for an entire week, doing strenuous menial labor, with a ruptured appendix because I thought I was just being a pussy with my abdominal pain. I almost fucking died.There is such a thing as trying too hard to be tough, or self-reliant. I was raised to despise weakness--and fear showing it-- by a brutal idiot and that got me in a hospital bed. When death seems close you will feel some solace in the fact that you were on the right path in your life towards what you wanted for yourself before it came to that point, however, but being in a hospital is just the worst shit ever. Better than being dead though. This is a thing you don't want to put your friends and family through--take good care of yourself.

-If someone you trust tells you to seek help, trust them and do it.

-Get a woman/man to be your best friend and marry her/him when you're both ready. If you are not around my age or older, you are probably not ready. You will have to make a call at some point and this is one thing I will say you shouldn't be a pussy about. Love requires courage and never stops requiring it.

-Keep your eye on the ball. 90% of the shit contained in the idea of the 'real world' beaten into your head by institutions, [equally brainwashed] peers and entertainment media is bullshit and totally optional.

-Be very careful with drugs. Or just don't do them. Alcohol, meth and heroin are comparable in how much damage they can do once they take hold. Legal =/= safe, and vice versa.

-The only rule of being cool is respect. The lamest person ever who treats people with respect is way cooler than any disrespectful person. I have seen some really uninteresting but genuinely nice (not "nice") people go far in many social arenas. Being embarrassed to say sir and ma'am to strangers and elders is a sign of poor socialization, which is not necessarily your fault but can be fixed.

-Sociopaths are better than you at everything. don't try to be them and don't fret if you are bested by one. Just try to stay the fuck away.

-Learn the difference between conflicts that are worth your time and conflicts that aren't. Getting into a Facebook argument usually requires at least two idiots.

-Anyone who tries to start a fight with you has less to lose. There's no shame in de-escalating a situation and people will thank you for it. You're probably not the type that can win with one punch anyway. If you don't have a choice, don't hesitate, go fast and go hard. If you can run, do, and run towards people and not away. You may want to learn a practical martial art.

-Define yourself by what you do and not what you consume.

 

i think in reference to drugs, just don't do them. i honestly don't think they're worth it at all given the small risk they're attached with (which I've seen first hand destroys lives slowly and tragically sometimes very fast). 

 

 

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On 8/12/2017 at 7:24 PM, Aaron said:

 

i think in reference to drugs, just don't do them. i honestly don't think they're worth it at all given the small risk they're attached with (which I've seen first hand destroys lives slowly and tragically sometimes very fast). 

 

 


I'm with you but if we're going to give this advice, we can't afford to leave anything to the imagination. Specificity convinces. So here goes, with that in mind. 

It's not much of a stretch to point out the pitfalls of abstinence only education versus something more nuanced that accepts that some people, regardless, will do drugs, and education can minimize the harm. D.A.R.E. doesn't work.  Might as well address the real addiction rates (which are contrary to hysteria, low), overdose rates (which vary by drug), risks associated with method of intake (Hep C is mainly transmitted through IV drug use these days), risks associated legally (which vary by drug), risks to health (which vary by drug) and burdens to society (which vary by drug).

I've been at meth ground zero most of my life (I have lots of SWIM stories regarding transactions, fights, home invasions, robberies, etc.; knew a dude with a colorful life to say the least), and watched the last town I lived in begin its death spiral into opiate abuse. My family tree might as well have been watered with booze. Pot and psychedelics are completely different, and you have to acknowledge stuff like that. False equivocation and abstinence focus ultimately undermines the credibility of anti-drug education. It's easy to compare addictions and escapism and stop at "well this stuff is illegal and will ruin your life because the police will arrest you and ruin your life", but the general population is only law-abiding insomuch as they stay under the radar and don't do anything too big. Deterrence is for repeat offenders, not first time offenders, and the USA's focus on penalizing drug use rather than healing addicts undermines the credibility of the state as well. So, if you're going to be real about drugs you have to be completely real or you'll immediately lose the attention of your audience and be lumped in with know-nothing Nancy Reagan types. 

Don't do meth--by tinkering with your dopamine-norepinephrine receptors, which control pleasure and stress, you can permanently lower your body's ability to produce those neurotransmitters; don't do heroin--it feels great and you'll chase that first high until you die. Layne Staley etc. are warnings, not people to emulate; don't do PCP--you will eat somebody's face; don't abuse opiate-derived pain medication--heroin's cheaper and you'll be doing that in no time; don't abuse muscle relaxers; don't abuse sleep aids like Ambien;  don't do coke but tbh the shit's too expensive to keep up; adderall is meth; do not under any circumstances underestimate alcohol just because it is legal--it is the most common date rape drug, drunk drivers kill enough people, you will do and say things you regret, and withdrawal, like with benzos, can kill you; cigarettes take awhile to kill you but are just plain expensive; pot can demotivate you enough to where you aren't chasing your ambitions in life and if it gets there, you should stop; psychedelics can trigger latent mental illness and require a lot of knowledge to do safely; there is no safe way to use benzodiazepenes even when they're prescribed (SWIM was prescribed them for PTSD and refused to take them after SWIM saw what they did to his alcoholic mother and his Afghanistan and Iraq veteran friend. He advised SWIM to use pot instead.  SWIM regrets it less than if he went the benzo route, but adequate treatment would have been better. A lot of veterans treat their PTSD with alcohol, which is really really dangerous.

Shit's complex, so a blanket "don't do drugs" doesn't come off as quite as sincere and informed to people who are familiar until you type all the shit I just did above. D.A.R.E. has helped push social phobias about drug users which further isolate them and prevent them from getting help. "Don't do drugs" turns into "avoid everyone who does a drug" to "drug users are subhuman". I'm not saying that you're saying that at all--I agree with you, but that's how it is for a lot of people.  A lot of people hit rock bottom alone, having not dragged everyone around down with them, and still have that grind ahead of them.

My cousin been trying to get off pain pills for years. He finally hit the ground so hard he bounced. No kids, no wife to lose, his homies were addicts on their own mission so they didn't really give a shit. I kept an eye on him through the grapevine but was wary. Once he got on a program I paid some court fees,  shot the shit and hung out for awhile. But for how many years did I not do that? Did he have to land that hard? Is that tough love shit always the real shit? Does someone have to catch a charge before anyone cares about them? It's not like that's what made him switch to suboxone, it was that he missed himself and his aspirations, and hated his surroundings. I know a lot of people too far gone, but you can't give up on everyone. I'm knee deep in it, from a user to a clan of 'em and back out again, and all I can say is that for a great many platitude is poison. Anyone who smokes pot after a D.A.R.E. lecture rejects the rest of the lesson. "Don't do drugs" in a vacuum sounds like a thing middle class white moms tell their children before they go rail a Xanax in the bathroom, so here's some of SWIM's stories.

SWIM's stepmom was a meth dealer for awhile and got busted. The thing is, she was batshit crazy to begin with and couldn't live off disability benefits alone. So she self-medicated and funded that habit, and the rest of her bills, by moving more and more of the shit. Of course, her minor kids were involved in the family business, hell, SWIM's stepmom sold to SWIM's mom. They setting up rings to purchase chemical precursors at regular dates and times to avoid flagging state detection apparatuses, then trading that shit for pot to be sold at pure profit (unless the sudafed and liquid fire could be sold outright).  It's a practice called 'smurfing' and yes the authorities look for patterns like this. This is in turn opens up the market and soon pills of all kinds, shrooms, etc. come flooding in. The root cause of SWIM's stepmom's problems was insufficiently treated mental illness. She's not a bad person. She got beat up by rival dealers, allegedly stabbed a guy who attacked her, had her trailer broken into repeatedly; it's not like you can report this stuff to the police when you're an addict and you need the shit for income. There were prostitutes all over the place too. Once she got busted, she gets out of prison right? Well, she can't get food stamps anymore, and I think her social security got downgraded. Now she's a felon. So, she managed to find part-time work for awhile until she lapsed back into running her own illicit small business. Keep in mind, all this shit was going down in a tiny ass rural town in the Midwest. She's back in again as we speak, for again, possession charges. SWIM had to move some stuff while she in jail last time to keep the family afloat. 

A dude SWIM knew, let's call him Billy, was a schizophrenic always ranting about seeing the demons in people. He hallucinated constantly and operated under a lot of delusions. Happened to look a lot like Kid Rock. He was kind of obnoxious, but mostly harmless. Pot and meth kept him from suicidal depression, but didn't make his religious visions any better. After he attacked a woman he claimed was manifesting horns, SWIM stopped hanging out with him. Pretty sure it was the meth and the crazy combined that did shit like that. Billy didn't really have a stable environment, but fuck him, right? Read his obituary in the papers a few years later. Died in the middle of the woods under suspicious circumstances. Nothing else released to the town paper, but yeah, there went another piece of white trash.

Humorously enough, a girl from school SWIM had a huge crush on happened to buy pot from said stepmom. SWIM told me he started to believe that normal people used drugs and crazy people got used by drugs. Of course, drugs can make normal people crazy. It's hard to tease out which is which sometimes. In college SWIMs crush did tons of MDMA, got kinda strung out on speed, came home, got her shit together, and is changing careers. She looks healthier now.

SWIM had an acquaintance in college who was always kind of out there. He was an annoying hippie type guy who was really just in it to get laid (who really gives a shit about the environment though? I swear it's just a "secret" arrangement between douchebags who play guitar at parties and the women who tire of shaving who want to fuck them); always talked about "energy" and shit. Of course, SWIM got acid from him once or twice. One day the cops catch him dealing on campus so he hauls ass out of there. He gets away, running through a field maintained by the college. Thing is, the sprinklers were on, and he had a whole sheet of blotter paper in his pocket at the time. The next couple days he decides he's a prophet, drops out, and goes god knows where on some messianic fantasy. A year later he comes back to town with a record, but sober: "yeah, that was a fucked up time in my life."

SWIM was a pothead for years, still occasionally uses. He just doesn't want to go back into the haze ; he barley remembers a few years of his own life but figures it was all he could do to cope at the time.

Don't do drugs. 

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