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34 You're a random

About Uglybass

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    Underworld Duelist
  1. This all stemmed from last night when we had sex and the condom fell off and she freaked out about it and now I have to buy her the morning after pill. HORSE SHIT.
  2. What is this bullshit? Lets take a vote, should I dump her ass for making me wait two months till I can fuck her, or be nice and stay with her. It's not like I can get any anywhere else, so...
  3. Simply...Laura...

    Oh nice is this that 12 year old bitch?
  4. You assholes still exist? Jesus christ.

    I haven't been a janitor in almost two years ;_;. I work at an appliance store now and its pretty sweet. What crying incident are you talking about?
  5. The adventures of online dating

    I once tried casual encounters, I talked to some older lady and then she gave me pictures and she looked like a fucking bridge troll so I stopped talking to her and never tried again. I got an e-mail from this asian girl a few weeks back from one of my old ass postings, nobody had replied for like two months and then randomly she did. http://img518.imageshack.us/my.php?image=underwearjj5.jpg So we got to talking and in some e-mail she told me she "likes a lot of sex, and I mean A LOT!" so I was like fuck yea, I'm gonna score some asian tang! We talk more and she tells me she smokes a lot of pot, well sweet! Icing on the cake! Then she says she does a lot of drugs, which is OK but the coolness factor is starting to die out a little. The 2nd night we've been talking, she asks me to come to her house and "cuddle" with her, I couldn't that night because I had to work at like 6 the next morning, so I said maybe tomorrow. She asks again and I am kind of freaked out by how up front she is about it, so I said no but we can this weekend after we hang out a little! So that weekend we both go and see Jim Breuer live at the Denver Improv, pretty fucking hilarious show, everything was going OK, I bought drinks and I thought for sure I was going to get some. Well after the show she said she needed to get some weed so we went to go buy some from some dudes house and smoked a little, still going OK even though that was a bit weird. I am a little more quiet now and she is a complete fucking spaz when high, I have no idea what she's talking about half the time. Like while we're driving she starts talking about how I'd look really hot in a white something and im like "uhh, what?" and she replies "oh what? I'm so high haah!" We get back to her place and her roommate (a black girl LOL!) and some of their friends are over, and we start playing guitar hero for a little and sippin some brews, and then her roommate and friend step outside and she starts to tell me "So we're probably going to get into some hardcore drugs tonight, and basically I don't really want you around to see me do them." I kept asking her to tell me what drug it was, because I've done my fair share of "hardcore" drugs in my day and she kept refusing to tell me, saying "no I don't want to say, please don't make me say blah blah, its not accepted by society but its the lifestyle I choose". So I said whatever, when you want to open up to me you know where to reach me." It's been a week haven't heard from her. She is probably doing meth or heroin which I don't want to be around either, but she could atleast fucking tell me.
  6. The adventures of online dating

    Oh my god, thats crazy! You were in there? haha that was the craziest chat of all time.
  7. The adventures of online dating

    who are you on gfaqs?
  8. The adventures of online dating

    Just chillin yo, smokin resin being tired and shit.
  9. The adventures of online dating

    Got some time to blow before I head to the gym, so I'll lay one more down for you guys. So after that last experience I decide its time to take a break from the world of e-lationships and go back to normal, real life dating. After a few months of dates almost as crappy as the craigslist date, I got bored and said "fuck it, I'll make another CL ad". I create another template which I post in the "guys looking for girls" section, then I send the same template to every girl around my age in the "girls looking for guys". I get a few replies from beasts, including this one girl who sent me a picture of her at a rockies game smiling with a face full of braces and food stuck in them. I unfortunately don't have this pic anymore. I finally get a reply from this decent looking girl www.myspace.com/auraciatre. She is from Britain and moved to the states when she was about 13 and apparently has parents that are pretty loaded. We talk and she's pretty smart, the first normal girl I've met on CL. No daddy issues, has life experience, isn't uggo and can hold a conversation. We talk more and decide we should meet up at a hookah bar of all places. So we meet up, and this is my first time at a hookah bar. She brings along a gay male friend of hers to make sure everything's OK and I'm not going to rape her or something. So we all get to talking and enjoying cherry flavored crap coming out of a hookah, and eventually the gay guy leaves, so It's just us. She starts flirting with me at a furious pace, laying her head on my lap, holding my hands, laying kisses on my cheek etc etc... and eventually she asks "want to head back to my place to watch Invader Zim (or some stupid cartoon, I forget now). I said "yea sure!" We head back to her place and as we're watching a children's cartoon show we get to business. Kissing, hands slipping down the pants, one thing leads to another and we're in her bedroom and I'm eating her out while her dog is sniffing my ass. She nonchalantly says "sorry, I usually don't have the door open when this happens." Which kind of raises my alarm, usually isn't open? So this happens alot? I'm already in the act so no stopping now. We do it without a rubber (I pulled out, I'm not a complete slob!) and as we're laying down afterwords she says "you can run away now haha." What does that mean? I just laid with her for a little bit longer and she eventually falls asleep, then I leave. The next day we're talking and she says "I usually don't do that on the first date, I just felt really comfortable with you. If we decide to keep going out, don't expect it to happen again for awhile." Yea OK, whatever that means. We decide to go get some coffee about a week later and as we're talking, she tells me about some of the other replies she's gotten on craigslist. One guy had his mom call her up and tell her what a good guy her son was and that she should really consider dating him. Another guy that she met up with was chewing tobacco the entire night and talking about his ex, then in the middle of the "date" the ex called him and he just left her there to go meet up with her. Sounds like my competition was pretty stiff. Well now it gets creepy. She then tells me that before she meets someone off CL, she uses a program that her friends in Chicago gave her that allows her to "hack" into the person she's talking to computer. It's like a trojan she sets up in her reply email so when you read it and look at her picture it installs on your computer. Then she can see websites the person had visited, pictures on their computer then get their names so she can run a background search on them. I thought this was just crazy talk and it's not even possible, so I said "What? You're lying to me! What sites did I visit when you searched me?" She then told me that the three main sites I visit were rotoworld.com, a Denver Broncos forum and a video game site (gamefaqs.com). I was pretty much flabbergasted and kind of scared, and said "That's a pretty huge breach of my privacy, why would you do that and tell me about it?" she said "Well, the internet is a scary place, I don't want to get kidnapped or something. I mean would you rather I not say anything?" I said I guess not and the rest of the night was just pretty weird. Well finally we pay the tab and are heading out and I said "oh fuck it, I might as well see what kind of freak I'm dealing with." and asked "hey, want to come back to my place and watch a movie?" She says sure and comes back to my place. She picks a movie and we're laying on my bed watching, then she starts to get frisky with me again which eventually leads to more sex. "Don't expect it to happen again." huh, It hasn't even been a full week and we're knocking boots again. She stays the night and we do it again in the morning before she leaves, then I proceed to never talk to her again, which I was kind of scared to do seeing how she is some creepy hacker bitch, but nothing came of it and I made sure no trojans or some crap were on my computer. As unrealistic as this sounds, it is completely true. I am sharing this with complete and utter strangers. I have no idea what this board is even for, I haven't ventured outside this thread.
  10. The adventures of online dating

    Well Finally I get my first real life contact with a Craigslist girl. I got a reply from this one girl who just had a face pic, no body shots, but she didn't have a particularly chubby face so I figured she couldn't be that bad. I start talking to her on AIM (lame, right?) and damn, this girl is like a closet freak! We converse normally at first talking about how she used to be a baker at King Soopers and is running a baking service from her house now and goes to school etc etc... Then out of nowhere she jumps into a sex conversation. She starts asking me about what my favorite position is, wondering what sex with a tall guy would be like (I'm 6'3"), how she's never had an orgasm etc etc... I'm like jesus, what did I stumble upon? Then abruptly in the middle of the conversation she tells me "Don't take this as me coming on to you or thinking you'll get sex on the first date, I've never done it before in my life and don't plan on it now." Oh, I would have never thought that, I mean it's everyday people go straight from cake talk to bang talk. Well I talk to her some more and we decide to go on a date. I didn't realize she lived so far away from me, like a 40 minute drive, then when I get there I call her and she says "Oh crap I just woke up from a nap! Will you give me like 20 minutes to get ready??" I said OK and sat in my car in front of her place for 30 minutes before she comes out. She wasn't exactly "fat", she didn't have jelly rolls or anything, but she had a pretty big double chin going on, which struck me as pretty weird seeing as the rest of her wasn't really fat. Lipo or something? Anyway, she gets in and we go to the most romantic place on earth, The Olive Garden. She tells me about what a square she is and how she spends most of her day napping when not at school, has never done a drug nor alcohol more than once or twice (she's 21 BTW) and isn't into music much at all. Wow, I know how to pick em. When the bill comes I thought we might split it, because I'm poor as **** and that's usually what happens on first dates, you split the bill. I'm slowly taking out my half of the money and she is just sitting there with a stupid look on her face. I figured out she isn't going to offer to pay her half so I dish it all out. Then we goto a movie, which I know I'm paying for as well at this point. At this point I'm just hoping this movie ends as soon as possible so that she might take me back to her place and forget her vow of "celibacy on the first date" and fuck me silly. Well we get back to her place, I walk her to her door and she tells me she had a great time and gives me a hug, then she heads in. I leave, disappointed and broke. We talk later in the week and I have no idea what possessed me, but I asked her if she wants to come to my house for dinner some night. She keeps putting it off with "well I'm pretty busy, I don't know, we'll see" Busy doing what? Napping and not listening to music? Eventually I figure out she is trying to avoid seeing me so I say "Is there a reason you're trying to avoid seeing me?" She then tells me "Look, I just don't want to lead you on. I think you're a cool guy, you're just not my type." Oh, well you aren't exactly the bread to my butter, but for some reason this got to me. I'm getting rejected for a second date by a girl I met on craiglist? This was a pretty big kick in the crotch to my e-go, so I want to know why. I ask "What? What didn't you like?" She replies "Well, you're pretty quiet (I was the one initiating conversation all night!) and I don't like the fact that you've smoked pot before." After this I regained my E-go and realized the girl was just a complete square, and I was getting worked up over some average double chinned girl I met off craigslist. I never talked to her again.
  11. Sup. I have gone down the path of darkness in search of finding tang on Craigslist as well, except I was actually serious about it. As you said, There's a reason why these women are using the internet to find dates, they're too broken in real life to find normal people in a normal way. I was naive and thought that there might actually be some normal people out there, holy **** was I wrong. Over the course of about a year I put up maybe three of my own ads in the "guys looking for girls" section and replied to about ten thousand ads in the "girls looking for guys" section using the same basic template for each one. The very first girl to reply to my ad on craigslist seemed like a decent girl. In college, job, lives by herself etc etc... but then she sent me a picture. At first I couldn't really tell what her body type was, but it seemed normal. Then she finally linked me to her myspace page, and dear. fucking. christ. The girl had a body type of the Michelin Man, she just looked like three pastry puffs stacked on top of eachother. I exchanged a few e-mails then just stopped abrupty, and she messages me with the fury saying "Oh so now you can't talk to me anymore? That's fine, story of my life! You think you find something good and they just throw it right back in your face. Well I hope you have a great life." I would show the original e-mails and pictures but I think I deleted them at a furious pace after that little message. After that I got scared and stopped for awhile, but eventually I tried again because I just wanted to get laid that bad. After getting no replies back for about a month I finally get a bite from this little gem, I guess her name is Nancy or something. Here's a link to her myspace. http://www.myspace.com/nancyjean123 So as you can see, a somewhat decent looking girl, not a complete ogre, so I thought hey why not, lets chat with her a bit. I send her a text and we get to conversing. She is into some decent music and wasn't too bad, then I asked her what qualities she's looking for in a guy. First thing she says "well I dunno I've never had a boyfriend before." Huh. I asked "So you've never dated a guy in your entire life? Not even a like... hook up?" She replies "Nope, not even a single kiss. The only time I've talked to boys was during school when we had team assignments and stuff." I ask her "well how did you find craigslist then." Which she replies "Well my roommate was selling stuff on craigslist and saw the dating section and said I should try it out." Well now this is just getting weird. No normal girl goes 19 years without even a single stupid 2-week boyfriend in the 9th grade or something. The conversation at this point just breaks down. She is just repeating the same questions I ask her, then about 20 minutes later she asks the same question she did ten minutes ago and I say "you just asked that" and she just moves on to the next thing. I abruptly just stop talking to her and we never talk again. This is just the first layer of icing kiddos. My experiences get much weirder and crazier as time goes along.
  12. What the hell is this? Yu Gi Oh is still a game? I thought this would have turned into a niggerotic shitfest by now congested with miserable hemophiliacs biding for homosexual pleasures provided by biggy. I have some good shit to show you I have to find it off some hockey board first though.
  13. Oh man last night was INSANE!

    I seem to be OK so far, I kinda did expect a banning though.
  14. Went to this weird ass cosplay party and after a few gold meisters I blacked out. Someone took some pics though of the night before, here they are